via Forbes.com

Taking a thoughtful approach to why you're dissatisfied at work can make for smarter decisions.

With so few jobs available during the recession, plenty of U.S. workers were holding on for dear life to ones they had – even if they were miserable. But now that things are improving and more jobs are popping up, people who hate their work might be more inclined to do something about it.

According to a research report by the Society for Human Resource Management, only 29 percent of workers in the 31-to-61 age group reported being “very satisfied” with their job. The rest are either “somewhat satisfied” or not satisfied at all.

There are various things that contribute to dissatisfaction in the workplace, says Katharine Brooks, director of Liberal Arts Career Services at The University of Texas at Austin and author of "You Majored in What? Mapping Your Path from Chaos to Career." “There might be a conflict between your interests and the duties of the position; the job might be too demanding or not demanding enough; lack of training for position; lack of job security; you may have a poor relationship with co-workers or a supervisor; you might be poorly compensated; you might be in bad or unsafe working conditions; or you’re burnt out.”

The organization’s financial stability; lack of opportunities to use or hone skills, or to advance your career; poor job flexibility and work-life balance; and a bad corporate culture are other contributing factors, according to the SHRM report.

Forbes.com slideshow: See what to do when you hate your job

“People often stay in jobs they don’t like because they don’t realize what else they can do,” says Maggie Mistal, a career consultant, radio host and speaker. “They haven’t taken the time to identify what makes them happy or where their talents lie.  They haven’t clarified their values and thought about how they’d like to use their abilities to make a difference and align their work with their purpose.  Too often people assume work is supposed to be a chore so they don’t even look for anything other than that when embarking on a career.”

If you hate your job, here’s what you can do:

1. Start by doing a quick self-assessment
Brooks says you should start by asking yourself: Why do I  hate my present job? Is this a new feeling or have I always disliked it? Is it the people I’m working with, the tasks I’m asked to do, the culture of the company? “Try making a list of the pros and cons of your job and what you’d want in your next job,” she says. Determine if there are ways to modify your situation while staying at the organization or whether it’s time to move on.  “If at all possible, do not leave your current job until you have secured a new one.”

2. Figure out if it’s you or the job you’re unhappy with
Once you do a self-assessment, it’s important to determine whether the things you’re unhappy with have to do with you, or the job. This will help you figure out if changing jobs is the right move. For example, if you’re stressed and you want to change jobs to relieve tension, it may follow you and you’ll find the same thing in the next job, says Debra Benton, an executive coach and author of "The Virtual Executive: How to Act Like a CEO Online and Offline." If you figure out ahead of time that the stress is caused by things outside of your work life, you can avoid this.

If you’re unhappy in your job because you’re unhappy in life, the solution may be to seek help outside of the office.

3. Talk with your supervisor
If you’re not happy with your schedule, your compensation or the projects you’re assigned to, you should tell your boss. There could be ways to improve the situation, Brooks says, and it might be much easier than you think.

4. Don’t quit immediately
If you have a job that provides decent compensation and that isn’t unbearable, then consider staying put for right now, says Deborah Shane, a career author, featured writer, speaker, and media and marketing consultant. Remember that the grass is not always greener on the other side, “and new pastures are not always what you thought they’d be.” She adds, “Before you run from your current job, or decide to change or transition to another field, do the research and preparation necessary so you will be educated and qualified.”

If you’re in a situation where your job is intolerable or unsafe, you should leave.

5. Change your attitude
Maybe you had one bad experience at work that left a sour taste in your mouth. If so, try to let it go.

“Be careful about letting your negative feelings show while you’re still on the job,” Brooks says. Why? “Even though you’re unhappy and may leave soon, you want leaving to be your decision, not the organization’s.  Be professional and pleasant and follow through on your responsibilities.  If you’re fired, it will be much harder to find your next opportunity.”

Maintain a positive attitude and focus on the aspects of your job that you enjoy. If you can’t find one, it might be time to consider moving on.

6. Be professional
Even if you plan to quit, keep doing your job well. This way, when you decide to leave, you will have good recommendations, Brooks says. And if you’re situation improves and you decide to stay, you won’t be embarrassed about your behavior Remember: It’s never a good idea to burn bridges, no matter how dissatisfied you are with your employer or your job.

7. Set your career goals
Figure out where you want to be in five years.  “Will your current role help you get there?” Brooks asks. “If not, what would? And how can you move toward that?” If you know what you want to accomplish and where you want to be, it may put things into perspective for you.

8. Look for opportunities that you’d enjoy within the organization
“See what opportunities exist to join a committee, project, or initiative in your company,” Shane says. “Volunteer to help someone you admire; someone who could teach you things or mentor you.” Engaging in projects or initiatives that make you happy could make the overall experience in your workplace more enjoyable.

9. Don’t take it out on others
Don’t treat your clients or colleagues poorly because you’re miserable in your job — and definitely refrain from gossiping or complaining to them. It’s OK to discuss with colleagues your discontent to a certain degree, but be careful not to cross the line.

10. Change your job without changing companies
If you’re content with your employer, but not with your specific role or supervisor, consider changing jobs within the organization or altering your current position to better suit your needs and/or goals.

“Job crafting is the art of reworking your job description so that you are better able to use your strengths and contribute more fully to the workplace,” Brooks says.

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Over the last two decades, work and life have transformed so radically that the language we use (e.g. “balance") and the beliefs we hold about the decisions we “should” or “can” make are often out of date.

Here are three examples of work-life assumptions that are frequently wrong -- and costly:

Wrong assumption No. 1: When a woman has a baby, she will want to work part-time (or not at all), and won’t want to take on more responsibility or travel.

Unfortunately, some leaders, managers and colleagues of women in the workplace still make this assumption.

This bias is based on beliefs that continue to influence behavior, even though they no longer broadly apply. For example, Gayle Lemmon recently wrote an article in The Atlantic about research that showed some men in traditional marriages still unconsciously overlook women in the workplace for promotion, etc. because of their assumptions about women and the role they play. In reality, only 29 percent of children have a stay-at-home parent. The rest either live in a single parent home or both parents work for pay.

• Why it’s costly: It costs women in that it reinforces the well-documented “motherhood penalty” that affects their career advancement and earnings. It’s costly to employers because the business doesn’t have access to or develop the talent of some of its best employees.
• Assumption update: Don’t assume. Discuss preferences which each individual woman. After having a child, some women will want or have to work full-time. They’ll be happy to travel and welcome additional responsibilities. And even if they don’t, women who choose to scale back their career may want to only for a certain period of time. Not forever.

Wrong assumption No. 2: Men don’t care about work-life issues.

This is an extension of the previous inaccurate assumption. The bias is that work-life is a women’s issue, or more specifically, a mothers’ issue.

From my experience working inside companies, most men care quite a bit about how they manage their lives on and off the job and want to be invited into the conversation. In fact, research shows that men in dual-earner couples are experiencing more work-life conflict than women.

• Why it’s costly: It costs men because they don’t feel that they have permission to get the support and flexibility they need to manage their work and life better and smarter. Employers lose the productivity and engagement from unnecessarily stressed and overwhelmed men.
• Assumption update: We all need to manage our work-life fit everyday if we want to see our friends and family, stay healthy, etc. That includes men and women. And all of us will experience major life transitions that will require a more formal reset of our work-life fit, whether it’s becoming a parent, caring for an aging relative, relocating with a spouse, going back to school or semi-retiring.

Wrong assumption No. 3: You can’t have a life and start a successful business.

 Whether it’s Steve Jobs’ complete devotion to Apple at the expense of time with his family, or Tony Hsieh’s expectation that Zappos employees spend 10 to 20 percent of their time outside of work with one another, the assumed gold standard of successful entrepreneurship is 100 percent work to the exclusion of everything else.

• Why it’s costly: It scares off many women and men with great business ideas but want to tuck their kids in on occasion and maintain a relationship beyond the people at work. The economy as a whole loses because jobs that are badly needed are not created. It costs potential entrepreneurs, especially women, because they don’t have access to as much capital to grow their businesses.
• Assumption update: No one will ever have “balance,” but you can grow a successful business and still have some life outside of work. There are plenty of examples of people doing it and doing it well. This includes the mothers leading successful entrepreneurial ventures who were featured in a recent New York Times article written by Hannah Seligson. Is it hard work? Yes. Can it be done? Yes.

The answer is to assume nothing when it comes to how we want and need to manage our lives on and off the job in a busy, flexible, hectic modern world. Not only are our assumptions often wrong, but they can be costly to both the individual and the business. Instead let’s keep talking to each other. Learn the facts and come up with unique answers that meet our personal needs and the needs of our jobs.

What are the incorrect assumptions that you see people making about work and life? What’s the cost and how can we update those beliefs to match today’s reality?

Cali Williams Yost is the CEO and Founder of the Flex+Strategy Group / Work+Life Fit, Inc., flexible work and life strategy advisors. Her second work+life fit book,” Tweak It: Small Changes, Big Impact—Make What Matters to You Happen Every Day” will be published  in January, 2013. Connect with Cali on Twitter @caliyost.

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Newlyweds are entering their lives with a much different set of experiences than those of a generation before.

It’s more common than ever for people to cohabit before marriage now, and many are getting married later in life. Couples are relying more on their own finances to pay for a wedding, rather than the event being paid for by their families, and gift-giving practices have even changed as well.

Most newlyweds are already equipped with household wares; indeed, they may have an overabundance of kitchen supplies, electronics, bedding and other common wedding gifts. More and more often, couples are requesting a gift of the one thing they need most: money.

Not so long ago, offering cash as a gift was a social faux pas. Now, however, as couples struggle to build their new life against the backdrop of a meager economy, gifts of cash are well-received. Marriage represents more than a union of two people; it’s also the gateway into a new institution that’s governed as much by finances as emotion. Put simply, a marriage founded on shoddy finances is as unstable as any business enterprise, and for young couples, every dollar truly counts.

Making the most of wedding gift cash

As a newlywed, you’re bound to get a lot of money amid your other gifts, whether you specifically ask for it or not. For some people, this sudden influx of cash can be exhilarating. Instead of giving in to the sudden temptation to go on a massive shopping spree, however, you need to carefully consider what to do with the money. By properly investing the cash that you receive, you can build a nest egg that can help sustain you throughout your marriage, rather than running dry a week after your wedding.

5 smart ways to spend your wedding cash

1. Paying off debt

Since most couples pay for their own weddings, they often enter their marriage carrying ample debt. Of course, smart wedding planning alleviates some of this, and it’s very trendy right now for couples to reduce costs by holding casual affairs, having DIY weddings or dramatically slashing the guest list.

Even if a couple manages to evade debt for the wedding itself, however, most couples enter their new life with substantial debt. Student loans, medical bills, consumer debt and other expenses can impact a person’s credit, and those debts magnify when households are combined.

The faster you can pay off this debt, the sooner you will be able to qualify for a mortgage, buy a new car and save seriously for your retirement. It will also save you money in the long run as you avoid interest fees. If you have too much debt to consider paying off entirely with your wedding money, find the most toxic debt and destroy it first. For most people, this means paying off high-interest credit cards or loans rather than trying to pay off student loan debt or other long-term loans.

2. Saving for the future

The best part about money is that it can be used to make more money by investing it in an interest-bearing account. One of the securest investments you can make is a certificate of deposit. This is much more secure than stocks or other investments, but the interest rate is higher than with a regular savings account. You simply place the money in the CD and wait until it has matured, then receive your initial principal plus interest.

To maximize your savings, augment the wedding money with regular payments from your paychecks. Set aside a certain amount of money from each check and add it to the principal every time you cash your CD. This will ensure that you have an ever-growing savings with maximum interest and minimal cost. When you start, you can choose a short-term CD for a few months, then choose longer periods in the future.

The other benefit of having a CD is that it’s very flexible. You can choose the duration of the CD and use the money however you’d like. This allows you to put money aside for a house, vacation, your children’s college fund or whatever else is important to you.

3. Start an IRA

It’s never too early to plan for your retirement, and with fewer jobs offering pension plans, individuals must make their own financial arrangements. Rather than investing all of the wedding money into CDs, a couple might choose to open an IRA or 401k accounts. Employers will usually match the money invested in retirement accounts, and the funds are untaxed until they’re paid out.

If you do choose this investment, bear in mind that it will require two separate accounts as retirement accounts are for individuals, not couples. A wedding is a good time to consider retirement, however, as weddings are ideally a symbol of eternity, and planning for old age and retirement together can help solidify a couple’s bond while putting money to pragmatic use.

4. Buy a house

For couples who would rather live in the here-and-now, using the money from a wedding toward buying a new home can be a wise idea. Depending on the size of the gifts and the amount of guests, cash from a wedding can help form a down payment on a home. Houses are the most expensive purchase most people will make in their lives, and buying a first home is often the first step toward forming a new life together that a couple takes.

Don’t allow excitement to exceed reason when buying a new house. Be sure that your finances are in order first. You’ll want to pay off as much debt as possible prior to applying for a mortgage, and ensure that you have enough money budgeted to cover a house payment. If buying a home isn’t possible right away, go ahead and invest the money in a CD for a year or two and re-visit the plan later after you’ve been able to save up.

5. Buy something nice together

Marriage isn’t only about investments in the future. It’s perfectly acceptable to spend some of the money from gifts in buying something nice together. Indeed, many frugal couples may be so accustomed to buying second-hand or bargain bin goods that they don’t realize how nice it can be to splurge.

Assess your money and see if you can make room for a single nice, practical-but-luxurious purchase such as a TV or high-quality bed. By choosing something that can enjoy together for a long time, you’re also making an investment in your future.

It’s up to each individual couple to determine what the best use of wedding gift money is. This can depend on how much is received, the couple’s needs, future plans and more. At the very least you need to speak about this with each other well before getting married. As long couples consider all their options carefully before proceeding, they can usually make the most of the gifts to launch their new life together.

Alan Dunn is founder of HowtoSaveMoney.com, a destination dedicated to helping people understand how to save and manage money.

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Taking a class can develop new skills or hone the ones you have.

If you’re unemployed and worried that employers will turn you down for taking on unimpressive work during the recession or for the large employment gaps on your résumé — you needn’t panic.  A new survey just released by CareerBuilder.com reveals that the vast majority of employers are sympathetic to such circumstances.

The nationwide survey was conducted online by Harris Interactive, on behalf of CareerBuilder, among 3,023 hiring managers and human resource professionals between Nov. 9 and Dec. 5, 2011. Not only does it offer unemployed job seekers some hope, but it also provides tips to help them land a new position.

Forbes.com slideshow: See the 10 things you need to do while you’re unemployed

“More than 40 percent of unemployed job seekers have been out of work for six months or longer,” says Rosemary Haefner, vice president of human resources for CareerBuilder. “There’s a sense that such a long gap on a résumé negatively affects a candidate’s chances, but the survey shows that is not true. That’s very positive news for this group of job seekers. If you fill the gaps with activities and experience that illustrate how you are still developing your skill sets, the overwhelming majority of employers will look past your unemployment and focus on what you can bring to their team.”

Eighty-five percent of those surveyed employed reported that they are more understanding of employment gaps post-recession. Ninety-four percent said they wouldn’t have a lower opinion of a candidate who took on a position during the recession that was at a lower level than the one he or she had held previously.

But this doesn’t mean you can sit around and wait for a sympathetic employer to offer you work. “The worry is that employers may think job seekers are losing some of their skills because they haven’t been utilizing them. By volunteering, taking temporary work, or signing up for a class that develops your professional tool kit, you show employers that you’ve made the most of your time and will be ready on day one,” Haefner says.

Employers and CareerBuilder experts recommended a variety of activities you should engage in to build, expand and strengthen your skills during period of unemployment, in order to increase your marketability.

Take a temporary or contract assignment

Seventy-nine percent would recommend doing this. Why? “The key is to get people to see your work and to see what you’re capable of doing,” says Andy Teach, the author of "From Graduation to Corporation: The Practical Guide to Climbing the Corporate Ladder One Rung at a Time." “If you do a great job, even if it’s for a temporary job, whoever hired you is more likely to recommend you for a permanent position.”

Take a class

Sixty-one percent of the hiring managers surveyed recommended taking a class during a period of unemployment. “You never stop learning in your career, so the more technical competence you have, the better,” Teach says. “When you take a class in your field, you are also showing that you are serious about your work and that you take initiative.” Another advantage to taking a class: It’s a great networking opportunity.

Volunteer

Sixty percent of the hiring managers said volunteer work makes you more marketable. “When you volunteer for something, you are telling potential employers something about you as a person,” Teach says. It shows that you are passionate about something and care about helping others — and it demonstrates that money isn’t the most important thing to you, he adds. “When companies are hiring, they are looking not only for people who can get the job done but also for people with character and integrity.”

Start your own business

Twenty-eight percent suggested doing this — but starting a business can be pricy and time consuming. If you have the means to do it, it’s a great résumé booster and a wonderful marketing tool.

“The beauty of having your own business is that you can work part-time or full-time depending on whether or not you are able to land a job working for someone else,” Teach says. “You are also going to learn skills that are transferrable if you do end up working for someone else again.”

Start a professional blog

Eleven percent of the surveyed employers said a professional blog can be a good way to market yourself to employers. Why? You get people to see you as an expert in your field.  “You are also conveying your passion, gaining knowledge, and separating yourself from others,” Teach says. “Potential employers will see you as having taken the initiative during your job search to blog about something you truly care about: your career.”

Follow stories on hot industries and job functions

CareerBuilder experts say information technology, engineering, health care, sales and customer service are among the top areas for hiring nationwide, according to CareerBuilder’s job listings. Follow the news and job openings in these fields.

Use the time to come up with ideas

Whether it’s an idea for a marketing campaign, new revenue stream, cost savings, etc., the candidates who show up at an interview with ideas demonstrate that they are passionate, knowledgeable and excited about the opportunity. These job seekers always stand out from the crowd, CareerBuilder experts say.

Make connections

A résumé handed to the hiring manager directly from someone within the company is more likely to get noticed, CareerBuilder experts say. Build and expand your network of contacts through social media and professional organizations. Let friends, family and professional contacts know that you’re looking for a job, and ask for their help in finding connections to the organizations you’re interested in.

Follow up

According to CareerBuilder, two thirds of workers reported that they don’t follow up with the employer after submitting their résumé for consideration. It’s important to take that extra step to let the employer know you’re interested, and make sure you always send a thank you after an interview. Handwritten notes will set you apart from the pool of candidates, but e-mails are acceptable, too.

Use key words

As long as you’re actively pursuing a job, you’ll likely be spending a significant amount of time editing and sending out your résumé. Remember to use key words. CareerBuilder experts said most employers use electronic scanning devices to screen and rank candidates. You’ll want to tailor your résumé for each position you apply for, and include specific words from the job posting. Do this and your résumé will come up higher in employer searches.

“These types of activities tell the employer that the job seeker is serious about their career development and made the most of their time off,” Haefner says. “The key for the job seeker is to make the connection between how their volunteer work, blog, class, or temporary position prepares them for the next job. If they can successfully do that, their employment gaps won’t be an issue.”

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Fidgeting, chewing nails and playing with hair or clothes can signal discomfort or anxiety.

“Half or more of all communication is nonverbal,” says Todd Dewett, a management professor at Wright State University. “Professionals are stressed. They are multitasking. They face many competing demands. Consequently, while they might sometimes be focused on using words correctly, they never give a second thought to what their body is saying.”

Evolutionary psychologists contend that nonverbal communication is largely driven by the limbic system, so body movement and facial expressions are usually unconscious reactions — evolutionary artifacts of behaviors that developed thousands of years ago. However, many of the mechanisms that once ensured survival — an unfamiliar face provoked a fight or flight response — are no longer productive today and may even derail your success.

“Communication, including body language, becomes significantly more important when considering who’s promotion material,” says Dewett. “As soon as you step into a supervisor role, it all comes down to communication skills.”

Forbes.com slideshow: See the 10 worst body language mistakes

Do you know what your body’s saying? Communication and management experts detail the silent signals you may be sending.

You’re not confident

From their vocal intonation to the tilt of their heads, successful professionals should convey confidence and authority. However, common body language mistakes may make them look uncertain and indecisive. Poor posture can be detrimental. “When you slouch you do not have a dynamic presence,” says career coach Sarah Hathorn. “In the business world it sends a strong signal that you lack confidence and have poor self esteem, which can undermine your actual abilities.”

Similarly, your handshake is a strong indicator of who you are as a leader. Hathorn says it’s important to strike the right balance, as a weak handshake (something women are often guilty of) shows a lack of authority and a bone-crunching handshake (more often in the realm of men) can come across as overly aggressive. “Most people do not how to do it properly,” says Hathorn. “You want be firm and match the strength of the person’s hand you’re shaking.”

You’re disinterested

People at work fall into day-to-day routines and show far too much of their internal life, says Dewett. Showing signs of disinterest and disengagement is particularly destructive.

Dewett warns against common ticks like looking at the clock or your watch while speaking with someone, as they will assume you are arrogant or don’t buy into what they’re saying. Also, angling your body away from a person, not leaning into a conversation or looking past them signals that you want to distance yourself from them or their ideas.

It’s also very important to control your facial expressions. “Be aware of it,” says Hathorn. “Are you looking down, frowning or scowling with the forehead?” She says even a blank face may come off as negative, and suggests holding a very slight smile so that you look like you have energy and are paying attention. Furthermore, avoid fidgeting in meetings — adjusting clothing, pulling the lint off your sweater or playing with your phone — which will come off as distracted and indifferent.

You’re disrespectful

Invading others’ space is a major no-no, because it signals that you don’t respect them or their boundaries. Hathorn says every person has a radius of 1.5 feet that they consider intimate space. In business, you wouldn’t want to come any closer than arm's length, she says, or you run the risk of making someone feel uncomfortable. The same respect should be given to others’ office spaces and personal items. Picking up items on their book shelf, putting your feet on their desk or otherwise making yourself too at home will communicate disrespect for the person and their work.

Facial expressions like eye rolling and frowning are clear signs of disagreement that need to be kept in check. More subtle movements may also portray negativity. If you squint or narrow your eyes because you’re thinking, you might inadvertently appear as if you are questioning what your coworker is saying, says Karen Friedman, author of "Shut Up and Say Something: Business Communication Strategies to Overcome Challenges and Influence Listeners." Meanwhile, multitasking — even having a Smartphone out on the table — will be perceived as disrespectful because you’re not offering your full attention.

You’re uncomfortable

“People tend to use very closed body gestures,” says Hathorn. Folding your arms over your chest or crossing your legs appears protective and as if you’re not open to receiving the message. “Open up your body language so others feel like they can approach you.”

Feelings of discomfort are especially evident when you’re making a presentation — the one time everyone’s looking at you. “Most people can’t stand presenting,” says Dewett. “They’d rather die.” Usually that’s apparent. You either shut down emotionally, using a monotone voice, no facial expression and look at the floor, or have an excess of movement, seen in shuffling feet, playing with hair, scratching or rapid blinking. “Get yourself on video,” he advises. “It will open your eyes very fast.”

You’re lying

Your body should communicate your credibility, so the last thing you want to do is fake it. “There is nothing worse than a phony smile,” says Friedman. “If you are smiling because you are trying to be polite or ingratiate the boss, then that smile should truly light up your face to the crinkles at the corners of your eyes. Fake smiles typically involve just the mouth.”

Dewett adds that eye aversion and incongruity between words and gestures also suggest deception. “The funniest to me is when there’s a mismatch: You’ll say ‘sure I don’t mind doing this’ but your face is repulsed, or you’ll say ‘yes’ while nodding no,” he explains. Dewett recommends becoming more aware of your body and asking for honest feedback from trusted coworkers to better align your words with your body language.

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