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Subscribe to RSSTara Sophia Mohr from Playing Big Women's Leadership Program and Marie Claire's Anne Fulenwider say that skills you often learn in school, such as preparing for assignments and adapting to authority figures, may hurt you in a career. They recommend improvising, influencing the authority figures, and getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Tara Sophia Mohr is the founder of the Playing Big leadership program for women. Her "Women’s School to Work Guide" shows women how to shake up their good student habits to begin playing bigger at work. Here’s an excerpt:
In my work helping women build successful, fulfilling careers, I started to see something quite interesting: women who had been high achievers in school were finding that the very skills that served them well in school were holding them back in their careers.
Success at work demands different competencies than success at school, and many women aren’t aware that they need to shift their approach.
Below are five new skills women need in the workplace — skills that tend to be the very opposite of what we learned in school.
- Influence authority. In school, each class brought a new authority figure — the teacher — who had unique rules, requirements and preferences. As students, we get really good at figuring out what each authority figure wants and to provide it. Yet to have brilliant careers, we must learn to not only please the authority figures — but to challenge and influence too. Today, when you hold a different view than the authority figure in your midst, see how you can influence him or her by diplomatically sharing your point of view.
- Improvise. In school, we learn how to prepare: how to study for the test, to do the reading the night before, to be ready with the answer when the teacher asks for it in class. This can lead us to feel confident only when we’ve had a lot of time to prepare. Yet brilliant careers require that we think on our feet again and again. Get as good at improvisation as you are at preparation. Today, embrace an opportunity to improvise at work.
- Get uncomfortable. In school, you probably got comfortable with the routine of studying, test-taking, paper writing, without having to take too many risks along the way to succeed. In our careers, we have to get comfortable with risk-taking, with feeling afraid and moving forward anyway, with leaving our comfort zones. Today, take one action that stretches you out of your comfort zone and that will help you realize your professional dreams.
- Self-promote. In school, if you did good work, you usually got a good grade, but in our careers, we’ve got to do good work and make sure people know about it. This can be an uncomfortable stretch for women, because we don’t want to come off as arrogant or as taking credit away from others. Today, find one opportunity to graciously let others know about one of your recent successes.
- Look inward. School taught you how to absorb external information (from a book or a teacher’s lesson) and then regurgitate that information back out. As you move to more senior levels in your career, you’ll need to turn your focus inward and learn to trust what you already know. Today, notice when you default to looking outward for the answers, and turn inward to see where your thoughts lead you instead.
Want more? Go to www.taramohr.com/gettheguide to download Tara's free "Women's School to Work Guide."
More:
- '10 Rules for Brilliant Women': Creating a vision for your life
- Sheryl Sandberg's book offers career advice — for both sexes
- Study predicts billion-woman surge in workplace
- CNBC video: How to mobilize the female work force
Leave a Comment:
Attention, MSNBC: stop posting articles allegedly directed at women in a pathetically transparent attempt to up your failing ratings.
Seriously, not a single one of those 5 bullet points is gender-specific.
I think those bullet points came from the 2 women they interviewed, not from NBC.
That being said I disagree with the article. Based on what I have seen in the business place over the last 20 years in various jobs, the one thing that still holds true - sex sells. You want to get to the top, set your morals aside. Seen this with both men and women.
Your right it's not. However what's outlined is EXACTLY what I find the issue is with many women. They have the background but can't make it happen, which is dependent upon THEIR action, and they can't figure out why. You can be the smartest person in the world but if you can't make your case, get people to critically think and take action then you really aren't adding that much to the organization. I see what was written as almost a defining characteristic of very high percentages of women, but not men, who are trying hard to move up the ladder. I think it's great advice and a great article sorry.
jonathan- maybe in some circles but you don't want to work there and I'll gladly hire the good employee versus the hot one any day. Most successful organizations have the exact same beliefs.
Info, my thoughts exactly.
My experience taught me these things. Having worked hard on physics and engineering in the academic phase, I somehow assumed that being one the most accurately-informed people on the staff would lead to career advancement--just like making good grades. Right?
I was wrong. What matters most is neither how valid an opinion is on the technology nor what is best for the company. Career advancement is more about social skills and simply keeping one's boss happy. It was disappointing to learn this, but we live in a world containing a few sheep and lemmings.
Years ago (in a company I left as soon as I could) when I was foolishly idealistic, my superior commented that I needed to blend more with the other guys. He said that "those guys (would) go out and shoot pool and drink beer," and that I would not join them but instead, for example, "would go to the symphony" (and had season tickets). That this was the wrong thing to say on so many levels is another discussion, but it gave me my first clue.
There's nothing worse than working with someone who doesn't "blend" with the group. Don't like shooting pool and drinking beer? Fake it. There are a ton of intelligent people out there who could do your job, but are more fun then you. We spend more time with our co-workers then we do with our families, a good attitude and the ability to have fun while working keeps productivity up.
Don't believe me? Here's a study! http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/04/opinion/sunday/do-happier-people-work-harder.html?_r=0
Anyways, back to the article. As a woman in business, I have a very hard time self-promoting. I know I should, but I just can't, it's too embarrassing! I hate when other people do it, it always comes across as sucking up.
Hmmm.
You are correct, there is (not 'are') probably about one ton of people who can do my job. Assuming that at an average weight of 135 lbs in the U.S., male and female, there are fewer than 15 people, so you're pretty close. You know nothing about my job or what it entails.
Since you've made this personal, I never said I was not happy. Not sure how you got that. My definition of fun just doesn't include loitering pointlessly in a tobacco-smoke environment where Philistines do nothing more than intoxicate themselves. My friends are more enlightened than that, and we have fun doing things like sailing the bay and watching the dolphins play alongside us, or like hiking in the Alaskan mountains. That lifestyle beats hanging out in a pool hall, in my opinion.
I now work in a very diverse (technical) environment with people from at least four continents, and we'd be hard pressed to find more than 2 or 3 people who "blend" with each other nicely. We are polite, professional, productive and we are good at what we do.
Work and personal life are two different things for me. I have lots of fun in both environments, but they don't overlap.
You spend more time with your coworkers than your family? I'm sorry to hear that.
Women can't break the glass ceiling because it is still a good old boy's network.It was a good old boy's network at SBC,Cigna and also many small businesses.Society as a whole still approves of promoting a man over a woman because of the old thinking that men have to support a family and need the promotion more so.It is archaic thinking but it is still going on.
For a long while as I was a junior employee, I was tasked with a "culture fit" interview. This comprised, short of actually berating the interviewee, what would you do if you had a phone thrown at you? We were looking for a specific personality response to that question. In the near 10 years I've been at the firm, we've stopped asking that question, as the culture has changed. We still ask culture fit questions, but they're not that brusque. There were times when I literally asked interviewees "Why the @!$%# should I hire you?". Note this was not race or sex conditional. Matter of fact, I've only ever interview males (take that up with my firm's HR department). When you're doing a culture fit interview, part of it is to find the breaking point, without being offensive.
True, sorry. I usually don't come back to posts, but I reread what I wrote and felt bad for the low blow. I am currently dealing with a co-worker who refused any pleasantries when she started and is now whining to me about "why no one likes her". It prejudiced my comment to you.
However, I'd like to come back to your comment about spending more time with workers than family. If you count up the hours, I bet you do too... 7-8 hours sleeping, 8 hours working, 1 hour driving (for a normal 30 min commute), there's only so many hours in a day... we're all working for the weekend!
Why can't this article be generally applicable to all workers? I'm a man, and I use these types of ideas every day. Doesn't seem too gender specific to me. Unless you're implying that women cannot figure this stuff out for themselves and men are inherently better. I'm not promoting that view, I do not think it's accurate at all.
Agreed in part - I was just sending this article to my 14-year-old daughter recommending she read it, but at the same time felt that I use these skills in the office myself.
I don't blame NBC/MSNBC though...it's an excerpt from some woman's book. Should they have re-written it to be gender-neutral before posting? Should the author be flogged for writing a piece directed towards women?
Relax, people...
Although certainly men can do the same things, I think it's more common in women. I do think that women are more prone to try to please authority figures than men are. While girls are growing up, they are rewarded for being "good" and compliant. Boys are rewarded differently, and "bad" behavior is often smirked at.
I know too many women who have been "good girls" all their lives and watched others being rewarded with raises and promotions--and they are bewildered and wonder why. I think the points in the article are good ones.
The whole point of the article is that these are the behaviors that get results.
"But men do these too..." yeah. Duh. They are the behaviors of stereotypical achievement-oriented males and females.
Number 4 is garbage. Let your work speak for itself. We have too many employees who spend their energy tooting their own horns while showing no respect or appreciation for the work of their colleaques.
You are right, but I think a reasonable balance midway between the extreme of self aggrandizing (which does more harm than good) and the other extreme of humility and modesty is best.
People who evaluate performance of employees do not usually put this habit as their highest priority (IMO). Supervisors, managers, directors, VP and the guys at the top are more concerned about meeting the goals set for the company and their department. They won't spend a lot of time analyzing how smart, productive or loyal the worker is, because they are more concerned with what affects their careers.
Getting a messed-up project assigned to a person, especially when the deadline is short, can be a huge blessing and a great opportunity to shine with high visibility. Many people would complain about it. Others see it as a wonderful thing. The nice thing about it is, you can probably let your own projects slide a little in favor of saving your boss' bacon by fixing the project fouled by some guy who has made a career-limiting decision.
I think the best thing to do is learn how to brag without bragging. This can be done in weekly reports and other documents, and in private conversations with one's boss. This is what has worked best for me, because no one really cares how well I do my job--unless I'm not meeting expectations.
How long have we been dealing with trying to get women functional in the workplace???
How long has women's lib been around and the myriad laws, lawsuits etc?
Title IX???
And we're still reading articles about it?????
And you're going to keep reading them. Why do you keep reading them is really the question if you feel like the subject is redundant.
Just like we have to keep reading articles about men raping women (don't they ever learn...why can't they just stop the grotesque behavior) or "How to Keep Your Man Happy" articles. I know how to keep my man happy. NEXT!
The reality is as new people continue to come up from generation to generation and the same values hold true of what is being taught to girls...the same lessons will have to be taught as they become women.
When our culture and American society changes, then you will be spared from reading articles that help women become more assertive and "functional" in the workplace. Until then, stop reading them if they bother you so much.
I always had the problem of having no career goals and dreams to aspire to. I don't have any passions that aren't already ridiculously easy to fulfill.
I guess my problem is that I'm already happy and content. I have a wife and family, I have a house and garden... I feel like I'm done and settled into a quiet, almost "retired" life -- except I've never had that "career" people always go on about.
Maybe I'll write a book or something.
I just think it's funny that it's mostly men commmenting on this article.
Kind of validates the article doesn't it sarah? Men speak up. I did as I have LOT'S of experience hiring and working with men and women.
I found these tips to be pretty helpful AND very true! I sent it to myself for future reference. I have learned to change my habits from school and do some of these things like brag more about myself. It was hard at first, but I got very good at it soon enough! LOL. Managers, typically, don't recognize the TRUE worker bees. They tend to focus more on who's popular or who's kissing their butts (Yes Men/Yes Women). I have lost out on opportunities for "going against the grain" and not getting along with the boss or really even getting to know the boss. I have learned that there is a fine line between pleasing your boss so you can keep your job, blending in with everyone so you can be seen as fun and social and move up in your position AND influence your managers to show what kind of skills you have. You have to learn how to disagree with your boss or how to influence them to do something that they didn't originally think of. Trust me, they will respect you for it if it's done respectfully and, especially, if all goes well and things work out for the better because of YOUR suggestion. :) They might take the credit but I learned that it is my job to make my bosses look good. Then when there is a time for a promotion, they'll be looking at you! :)
I have learned to ALWAYS be happy and do NOT bring your drama to work. This can be especially different for women. I don't know why but women LOVE to gossip and I almost have a hard time getting along with them because they are intent on being angry, gossiping and stabbing each other in the back. Eventually, I win the ladies (and men) over because I am naturally a happy person. Nothing fake about me. I speak m mind but I am happy, nice and I'm not here to get your job. I believe there's room for the both of us. If there isn't, may the best person win! If I really feel like I deserved the promotion, I get my resume out there and make my move to get the promotion I want!
Laugh at your managers jokes, no matter how lame and provide EXCELLENT customer service. Be ready to SERVE your customers. That's what you are getting paid to do, after all. KNOW your boss! For example, I know how to cheer my boss up when he's in a "mood". I usually make a fun joke when I see him or keep smiling because he often comments that it's refreshing to see someone around the office who smiles. And I know he likes to talk about his children. Luckily, my bosses are usually cool so it isn't that hard to get along with them even though you have to remember to keep it professional. Don't get too chummy. I always want my boss to see me as happy but as a professional who takes my career seriously.
I have definitely learned that I have to be fast on my feet. No time to research much in my fast-paced IT field. I have to constantly be learning BEFORE the subject even gets to me. I always have to be thinking ahead. Can be a little stressful at times but if it was easy....everyone would be doing it!
And one of the hardest ones for me is number 5. I have learned that I definitely have to trust myself AND pull from within. I want to be a manager one day and that day is fast approaching. I am in the middle of my career. I have had to learn how to trust my decisions and not doubt myself which can be hard sometimes. I usually want to run my ideas by someone but a lot of times, I don't have that kind of time. And I will NEVER move up if people think I can't even trust my own ideas. Why should they trust me if I don't trust myself?
Another reason that I learned that I have to trust myself is because, as a woman, other women can be very catty and try to get you NOT to trust yourself because they are trying to sabotage your success. I had to tell one of my coworkers that I DO know my job and I'm d*mn good at it after she gossiped to me that people were saying I don't know my job. I knew that wasn't true because people compliment on my work all the time, even the higher executives. She didn't mention it again after I spoke up and defended myself.
I have also had men try to undermind me because they feel threatened or do not respect me because I am a woman. I am a woman in a predominantly male field and it has been that way since my Army days. I have gotten used to being in the middle of the good ol' boys club. I have the degrees, I have the certifications and I am more qualified than most of the men/women who have tried to undermind me. I can definitely hold my own now as I have matured. Once you find the confidence in yourself and believe in yourself, you're GOLD! :D
What really works:
1. Look really hot in a short, tight skirt, but one that looks "businesslike".
2. Blink your eyes rapidly and wiggle your hips and other parts when talking to the boss's boss.
3. Don't spend much time trying to impress your boss. Go over his/her head, and seduce the boss's boss. Then you can be your boss's replacement.
4. Make sure you point out your coworkers' mistakes when in a group meeting.
5. Put on a display of great confidence, and be condescending to your coworkers when the boss's boss is around.
6. Go to social events where your boss's boss will be.
7. Use sex as needed, but spurn your coworkers and save it for your boss's boss.
8. Don't waste your time doing useful work. Rather, take credit for the work done by someone else.
Oh yeah, number 9:
9. Learn how to sucker your coworkers into doing your work, so you have more time to socialize. Then if they do it right, take credit for it. If they get it wrong, blame them for it.
But then, that's the same stuff that worked for them in school, only instead of the boss, it's the teachers and principal.
Wow, real woman hater. Guess you're not the boss's boss...
Sounds like somebody is upset a more-qualified woman took over his job.
Attention: we got the point, now stop publishing this crap!
Blond,blue eyes and ability to seduce the top boss = four years of college.
I do my work, get along with others and let them know I value their opinions. However, I also want them to do the same. I don't want to have to fix their screw-ups. Let them do it. I'll help, but that's all. I have an idea and I'll work on it, but if necessary I'll ask others what they think. That's when I know I screwed the pooch. However, I'll let the idea fester. Sometimes that's the key.
But I don't drink and can beat most at pool which seems to piss them off. I cuss. And I won't kiss ass. It's the last that screws me the most. I don't care. I'm satisfied at work and at home. Anything else is secondary.
In other words, suck a LOT of dick. Sounds plausible...