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Subscribe to RSSWhen it comes to cheating, does it matter whether it's in the bedroom or the bank? Financial infidelity is something that can destroy your relationship, so TODAY financial editor Jean Chatzky and relationship expert Laura Baron share how you can ensure you and your spouse are on solid ground.
Lying about money can destroy a relationship.
"We know money causes more divorces than anything else," says TODAY financial editor Jean Chatzky. "And it's when the lies get really big that it leads people down that track, especially when they have to do with debt."
Earlier this year, TODAY.com and SELF.com asked readers how much money they’d spend using a joint bank account or credit card before asking their spouse or partner. Of the nearly 22,000 people who answered the question, about 36 percent said they would feel comfortable spending $50 to $99 before consulting their spouse or partner. Another 22 percent said the bar is between $100 and $499.
About 28 percent of readers said they check in with their spouse about every single purchase, no matter how small. Only about 6 percent said they never tell their spouse how much they spend on anything.
It all comes down to communication, relationship expert Laura Baron tells TODAY. "If you're not in a trusting relationship, this is what happens."
So how can you be more upfront about money issues with your partner?
"Give yourself a certain amount of money that you can spend every month without asking permission, and then you don't have to lie," says Chatzky. She likes the idea of separate bank accounts, plus one for the house.
"Couples are much better off if they can lay some ground rules to begin with," says Chatzky.
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Yes you're right, I had a betrothed who was Muslim and a couple of drinks and she was anyones, and somehow I could always forgive the cheating; but when I found out that during the year I was supporting her, she was also getting much more money from another guy, it was not the fact they were clearly sleeping together that I could not forgive (although it hurt more), it was that for 6-months she'd been making up excuses to get money from me, presumably b/c he didn't trust her with stipends, but just what she needed that day. The thought of her committing fraud to get money from me, when we'd already known each other 2.5 years and been together 2 years before she started, ruined any trust I had in her a billion times more than any of those drunken affairs (or even that long term one) ever did; b/c I figured the heart loves who it loves, and either you can win it back or you cannot, but if someone's taking you for money by lies, there's no way you can ever trust them in any way ever again
Here's what I saw today... a man sitting there and asking questions of two women, about financial infidelity. The questions were clearly geared toward women, as if women were the only ones who allegedly committed this "infidelity". It would have much better if TODAY chose to do a show about financial independence for both MEN and WOMEN.
Should be simple.
If it doesn't have anything to do with living expenses, there should be at-least comment sometime before it gets spent. Being the only one in my family that brings in money... have never had a issue with this.
There we go again, letting people get married. Vote Republican. Submit!
Couples need to budget together monthly. Any "financial infidelity" will be exposed and dealt with immediately.