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Subscribe to RSSFormer Obama administration official Anne-Marie Slaughter talks to TODAY's Natalie Morales about her controversial article in The Atlantic, which debates whether women can juggle high-powered careers and be good mothers at the same time.
Women can have it all if they fight for what they need.
That was the message that came from a powerful woman who sparked a national debate last week about women and their success in the workplace and as mothers.
Anne-Marie Slaughter, a former U.S. State Department official and now a Princeton professor, spoke about her The Atlantic article, “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All”, Monday on TODAY, and wanted to make it clear that her piece was not negative but more of a call to action to women struggling with balancing work and life.
“Women have come leaps and bounds,” she said about the advancements women have made in the workplace, “but we need another round of change.”
Working mothers, she continued, make it to a point in their career where they’re beginning to climb the ladder of success, but then they end up feeling “unbelievably torn” when family and work responsibilities clash.
Indeed, many women are questioning whether they can really have it all. An informal poll taken last week in an article about Slaughter’s story and the controversy that ensured, asked “Do you think women can have it all?” found only 11 percent of the nearly 4,000 respondents felt it was possible, compared to 48 percent that offered a resounding “no” to the question.
But in a sign of hope, 41 percent voted: “Maybe, when the workplace changes.”
And it’s change Slaughter wants to see.
“We need to be honest about how hard it is,” she said about the first step women need to take. And secondly, she stressed, “you have to ask for what you need. If you need to work from home, ask for it.”
In the end, she added, it’s all about a serious “desire for change.”
Change needs to happen on a larger scale as well, maintained Debra L. Ness, president of the National Partnership for Women & Families.
"Most of America’s women and their families are confronted on a daily basis with the fact that ‘having it all’ is still a distant dream, and we know that it will not get better until our workplaces are family friendly," she said. "We need policies like paid sick days and paid family and medical leave for all workers, and all workers need the flexibility to be caregivers and breadwinners for their families."
Slaughter's article, she added, "should be a call to action for employers and lawmakers to finally address the growing demand for workplaces that meet the needs of 21st century families."
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Life is about choices. Women generally are not prepared to make the commitment that men are expected to make. Short notice travel unexpected crisis's and problems are all part of the job. Women usually have family commitments that interfere with all but routine work. Men are expected to step up to the plate when the $hit hits the fan and women are given a pass.
No one can have it all. To be a partner in a major law firm requires years of 80 hour weeks for men and women. After you are a partner, you still kill yourself so you don't get kicked out. A man or woman on the career track at a large company must work killer hours and be on call to travel at a moment's notice. Ditto for many medical specialties, such as heart surgeons. The time commitments are enormous and require choices to be made.
I started my career at a BIG 4 accounting firm. Similar to law firms, you are required to work and travel nearly all the time. I hated it and went to corporate finance. A few years and promotions later, I was expected to travel 60% of the time.
We had 2 small children and my wife had a similar career. I left to start my own business. My wife chose the "mommy track" . We never made the millions per year that many professional and corporate types do. We raised our children with some type of sanity.
We chose to make less money and have less prestigious careers to be there for our children. That was our choice and we are happy.
A good friend of our is 50, attractive, single and female . She is a partner at a big law firm and pulls down huge bucks. She has no time for romance, a husband or kids. Again her choice and she seems content.
The CEO does not really get to see his or her kids grow up. Somebody else is raising them. That is their choice. I don't begrudge CEOs, Surgeons, Law Firm Partners or Accounting Firm partners their wealth. They earned it and made tremendous sacrifices to get it.
Articles like this are misleading and only serve to make people feel bad about themselves and the choices they made.
Gary that was a great comment! nice to see someone grounded in reality about what it takes to get to the top in corproate America. Many women simply are not prepared to make the sacrafices to get to the top.. yet feel entitled to it because of their chromosones. When they dont get it.. they dont reflect on their unwillingness to travell or work excessive overtime or all the sick days they took.. they blame it on sexism and mythological "good ole boys" clubs. (as if any corporation could actually afford such idiocy)
You are an idiot Hobgoblin. You really think the "good ole boys club" is a myth? Really? Must be nice to see through such rosy glasses sitting in your position of power because you have a twig and berries between your legs.
Women make sacrifices all of the time; I work ten times harder than my male counterparts to get the same amount of recognition and praise. All minorities have to do this. And for a little sociology lesson, minority isn't in reference to a number, it is a group's access to power, privilege and resources. Women don't have the same access, and if you think they do you are really living in fantasy land.
I don't feel entitled to anything. I feel I earn the respect and consideration that anyone who works as hard as I do does. Women are birthing and raising our youth, so should they have equal access to resources while still getting sick time for pregnancy and when their child needs to stay home from school? Well of course you numb nut. Who else do you think is going to do it? The nanny? Not everyone can afford a nanny, no matter how hard they have worked. The man that can afford a nanny likely had a nanny growing up. He went to Yale and then had a position waiting for him at his daddy's company.
It is not unreasonable to suggest that we have more realistic expectations for people, that we allow people to raise their own healthy HAPPY children AND be successful career-wise. Other countries manage it. So can we if we'd be willing to shut up and learn.
ajw23 wrote "I work ten times harder than my male counterparts to get the same amount of recognition and praise."
There is no shortage of women that believe they are smarter or work harder than their male counterparts. This reflects inefficiency.
Wow, the ignorance in here is astounding. I am an extremely efficient worker, but I could care less what you think of me. The fact of the matter is, as I already stated, minorities always have to work harder and be beyond excellent in their field in order to get the same recognition as a white man of average productivity/intelligence. You also, sir, are living in fantasy land if you think that is not true.
These endless generalizations are why these online message boards are long on opinions and short on reality.
There are millions of women and men who have the life that they want. Millions of single and married people, with or without kids.
But this ninny in the article thinks that all it takes is being firm about what you want and it will all work out?
Newsflash - the Walmart checker can't work from home, nor the ditch digger, nor the teacher, nor the outside sales person, etc...
What the dimwit tries to do is make sweeping generalizations and then act as if they are fact.
The world around us defines many jobs. If we want those jobs, we adjust. This constant attempt to try and blame others, or force others to comply with your little need is beyond narcissistic.
In the engineering business, we design plants and are expected to travel to the site while it is being built and stay at the plant to follow through with start-up. Women engineers in general tell the company they do not want to travel. Some even come right out and say they will NOT travel even though they knew that was a condition of employment. Women who refuse to travel are rarely, if ever, get fired. Men do not have that option. When it comes time for raises and promotion, the women want to know why they have been overlooked. It must be gender bias, they say. I for one am tired of the double standard and having to double up on my travel because the women can choose to pawn off their responsibities.
ajw23 wrote "minorities always have to work harder and be beyond excellent"
This is primarily due to social pressure for corporations to hire them with affirmative action programs. Women and racial (by minorities, you mean the dark-skinned ones) minorities are eagerly recruited by companies that can afford them. For each that is hired, a hundred equally-qualified men are passed up. If you're not as qualified or hired under an affirmative action banner, you'll have to work much harder for anyone to notice.
Ian Blokesworth -- I don't get your math...For every minority hired "a hundred equally-qualified men are passed up?" How does one person getting a job equate to one hundred people not getting a job? I've hired people and seldom is there one person who stands head and shoulders above the rest. I make the final decision based on many factors. Our most recent hires were white men because when we started originally recruited from female dominated professions and as we grew we wanted our teams to have balance. It goes both ways.
Common man - you're right about life being full of choices. People have to make sacrifices. There literally aren't enough hours in the day to "have it all". It's silly to expect the rest of the world to change and sacrifice to accommodate you and the things you want or feel entitled to.
I wish everyone would stop making this a male/female battle. A family friendly workplace can make life better for everyone. However, no matter how family friendly there are only so many hours in a day.
I've worked in the same place for 12 years. Many of those I was a single female with no attachments. I still didn't want to work more than 40-45 hours. I treasured my personal time to pursue my passions. I'm OK with the fact that I never was on the track to become the boss. I don't want to be the boss. Now that I'm married with a child I am very glad that the occupation I pursued allows me to work 40 hours a week and rarely intrudes on my family time. When I am on my deathbed I will have no regrets for I will have given the better part of myself to my family and in pursuit of what I love, not to a corporation that will throw me away at their convenience and not spend a second thought on me when I am gone.
My department just had some massive layoffs. My boss was one of those that left. He was replaced by someone else. He gave 55-60 hours a week to this place and many weekends and holidays yet they haven't given him a second thought.
Sure women, you can have it all. Just don't expect your kids to grow up sane or well-adjusted while you're out there grabbing for that brass ring. They'll probably be drug addicts or criminals, but hey, you'll be able to afford their bail or detox.
Here are your choices:
And a special note to ajw23, I'm not surprised with your very aggressive attitude, angry demeanor, and general sense of indignation that you have to work harder to get recognition. Did you ever think your trials stem far more from being a difficult, stressful person to work with, and not because of your gender?
I've seen your type before. You blame everything on an external factor and never on your own shortcomings. Which you have none of, of course. So why can't these awful "twig and berries" people see your inherent superiority? Probably because they know your withering attitude about their gender, and avoid you like the plague. Nobody likes a sourpuss, no matter how talented.
ajw, you should join the group who thinks that they are the hardest workers. Likely you are. I always try to sit between you and the lazy guy, then I look better.
Try to work on your communications.
Uh, what if the company needs you at their facility? Are they sexist if they turn you down?
Men give up a lot of their family time for work. In other words, men don't have it all. What makes women think they should be different?
milidad
Because feminuts have been telling women for a generation that they're special for no other reason that because they don't have penises.
I have it all now. But my definition is different from others. To me, I have a great job that allows me to feel like a productive member of society, gives me financial peace of mind, and allows me to concentrate on my children.
Fight for it, that's how its done. Not by some government mandate. Businesseshave an obligation to hire/promote the MOST QUALIFIED PERSON, regardless of race, gender, etc., etc., etc. Not based on some politicians idea of whats fair. We are getting our asses kicked by competitors world wide who could give a damn about hiring someone because they have a bit of talent and fit nicely into some hiring quota.
Milidad - Exactly. I know a lot of men who don't consider long hours and forgone family time to be "fulfilling".
About 10 years ago, or maybe more, there was a lot of talk of the need for livable wages in the US, as well as the call for more flexibility on the part of employers. Does anyone remember the phrases "flex time", or "family friendly"? But, strangely enough, as soon as these ideas gained popularity, companies started their massive layoffs, and magically wages plummeted, overtime protections were ignored, and desperate workers were told they should be thankful for any hours at all, let alone "flexible" hours.
Funny story...I had my own company and my wife stayed home for the better part of a decade to take care our kids - mutual choice (mainly guided by my more "old school ideals" of having someone home to take care of the little ones)...I did the 80...90...100+ hour work weeks to make sure that my wife wouldn't have to work, suffered some SERIOUS physical side effects and hospital scares because of the insane work hours and Mt. Dew induced to keep the clients happy, but I trudged on because well...that's what you do.
(I did hear DAILY how difficult it was at home which I found a bit odd considering when I'd get home, she was by the pool and the kids were napping, but I did my duty and shut up about it.)
So now my business was forced to close (my clients all in a former booming housing industry) and while I was able to snag a sweet job, working for "the man" doesn't pay as well, which required my wife to look for work, which she did with no objections because as she noted, "working in a nice quiet office is a vacation compared to taking care of the house".
Suffice it to say, now she's saying daily how horrific the work environment is, talking about how easy her "stay at home" friends have it and while I still pull my 60+ hour work week, and take care of the kids, and the laundry, and the dinners, my venue to "vent" is here because well...you just do what you have to do in this life.
I guess some people were brought up to understand that you do what you have to do and deal with it, and others were brought up to believe life should be really easy, and that anything other than that is worthy of constant complaining...don't get me wrong, I listen to hear attentively daily about the trials and tribulations of the horrific office environment, but in the back of my mind I have to chuckle, thinking..."that's just life".
Feminists don't care about men at all. This is why mothers of sons are not particularly interested in social policies that work against their male children.
The entire focus of work debates is about how women are getting the shaft despite a low rate of innovation and work participation while men are left to toil until death. Why is there zero mention of increasing the quality of life of men, perhaps even at the expense of women?
The question really is, can anyone have it all? I don't believe men have it all either. I believe society has just expected less of men in the home so it was easier to meet their obligations there. As many men are trying to be more involved in the home and family as well as work, they are realizing they can't have it all either. I think it is time we stop perpetuating this concept and instead let men and women know there have to be priorities in life and it is up to them to choose those priorities. As the old saying goes, if everything is a priority than nothing its.
Excellent post jmb1510....When our children were young my darling dear one traveled a lot in his career. He had no problem knowing that home was fine and that I would care for the kids with the same commitment that he provided for the family. But, he also busted his a$$ to make sure he was able to at the very least kiss the kids good night on their birthdays. He sucked it up when he had to miss performances, ball games and other school functions... At this point where he travels much less he makes a point to be involved in their days, choices and the direction that life is taking them. He misses very little in their lives and well, I have the greatest admiration for him as husband, father, provider and well just fabulous all around man.
As for me, I had wonderful career aspirations and career track and when my kids get a bit older I will go after my professional interest with the intention to climb the ladder, as I was doing before children. In the mean time I'm mother, wife, community volunteer, concerned member of society, etc . What I do is largely for my family. I am available to support the needs of our family elders, I volunteer in schools and my community. But my main job is to make sure that the three children I am chiefly responsible for grow to be good and productive adults. My time and energies are certainly not wasted and if my kids have a problem they know they can come to me, I may not like what they havge to say but if it is important to them I must listen and then offer up my 2 cents. I balance this with the role I play in assuring my darling husband has a comfortable and welcoming home. I make sure there is beer in the fridge, a bottle of crown in the liquor cabinet, a warm home cooked meal and kids that know daddy will gladly help resolve any personal issues that they may have, but please, let him get into the house and set his brief case down, change out of the business attire and get his mind set for the evening ahead. I plan time for he and I to be intimate (even of the only time is a shared shower), personal (discussing work, his day, my day, things that need to be attended to etc) and time to just talk (current events, silly reality tv, clipping the dogs toe nails, etc).
We have been very fortunate in our lives to balance a situation that could have driven us to separate paths. I haven't worked a traditional job in 15 years but I certainly have it all in the job I am doing now and fortunately, life doesn't end at 48. I still have time to meet my own goals.
Women CAN have it all but not all at the same time. There's a cost to everything and it's a matter of whether one is willing to pay the price for it. To me, my children are much more important than climbing the corporate ladder. I don't want a job that requires more than 40 hours a week because I am not willing to take the time away from my children. Their childhood is fleeting and I want to be there for them while they still need me. When I am on death bed, what will matter is my children and what they think of me as a mother. I doubt any of my co-workers/boss will be at my deathbed. I just want a job which allows me to live comfortably and someone else can take all the cool titles or status from some high paying job.
"Women CAN have it all but not all at the same time." I think this is what everyone is in the comments is saying.
Eve and Anne's delusion is that women (or men) can have it all at the same time, and they insist that life provide their little fantasy on their terms.
The capital required for "having" stuff is time. One can expend that capital on career or family, but it is finite. Spend too much on one, the other suffers. This is true for men and women. Only men haven't created a whiny movement insisting that they shouldn't fall under this rule. Kudos to you for seeing through the feminist nonsense.
I had to do it all...I would leave out of the house every morning with...a backpack full of college books...a baby on one arm...a diaper bag on the other...I had to see my young son safetly on the school bus and play baseball with him so he could be in the little league...I cooked three meals a day...cleaned up...luckily I had a dish washer...I went t work part time after college...I washed clothes...everything...my husband did absolutely nothing but smoke dope, squander money, complain. Then he quit his job...yeah..with two kids to feed...I had to work late. I would come home and find him playing computer games...no supper cooked...hungry kids...the place a mess..Then if that wasn't bad enough..he got violent and re-arranged the muscles in my left upper arm so I needed surgery. The $hit hit the fan...HE got the pass...
If you are a smart woman, you would have said "my EX-husband". My hubby is an attorney, works many hours but he comes home and does the laundry, dishes, give the kids baths, etc. You deserve that too you know! I would kick hubby to the curb if he smokes dope let alone all of the above the your hubby is doing. Now with a college education, you need to use it to make smart decisions about your current hubby.
He is an X-husband...after 14 miserable years...
Whew, glad you made the corrections :)
Life is about choices, isn't it?
I agree with those who say men in the high power jobs don't have it all. They work long hours, travel a lot and miss a lot of their kids' lives. If the family doesn't have a nanny or relative who has stepped up to the plate as a full time child carer, someone (generally mom) needs to leave work when the kid is sick or needs to go to the doctor. Someone has to make work sacrifices to take care of the kids. Most of the time its the mom. Ms Slaughter's home/work dynamic was one where she was not making it work by working in one city and having the kids live in another. But even if the kids had been in DC, they still would have been impacted by her travel and long hours during the week. She realized this and had to bow out.
If women want a high powered career without sacrificing quality family time, it needs to be done after the kids leave home. And women need to quite bagging on those who jump off the express train to the corner office to spend more time with their kids. Raising the next generation is a million times more important than being a CEO. Funny thing is, these same folks who whine about women mommy tracking are going to be the same ones who complain about how horrible this generation of kids is and why don't the parents teach them any manners. It's because the parents can't be at home because they have jobs to pay the bills. Or in the case of Ms Slaughter's son, he was acting out because she wasn't there.
But, phoenix, so many women become mothers at a later age than in previous generations. Many educated women wait until they are in their 30's until they have children. By the time they are freed from day to day, minute by minute nurturing, they are approaching middle age, or, are there.
It seems that there is no ideal time to step out of the career. It is difficult to get back in after a few years, and, given our economy, it is a real gamble.
I think that some criticize this author because she was making a choice between a high paying professional job and a provided for life at home. I do believe that she has a working husband, right? Many working women do not have it so good, and do not have the choices she had. Many do not identify with her situation.
hanna...Middle age does not mean you are useless. To that end many of the things stay at home mother's or stay at home fathers do during the time that they are home with kids can be used on a resume to re-enter the workforce. A number of my kids teachers were stay at home mom's and re-entered via the school system, many of my States Legislator's took time off to raise their families and re-entered to serve civic needs. I know a few mom's right now who are back in College taking classes part time so they have added skills for their re-entry into the working world. Time to raise children is just another facet of life. Of course there are also professional women who choose to balance work and home and many do a wonderful job making that work. The fact of the matter is our culture has developed to the point where we have choices.
So this bimbo is blathering the usual feminut line about "success" (i.e. accumulating great personal wealth) as the end all to a woman's existence on this planet.
1. If climbing that pointless ladder is what really defines you as a person (doesn't matter if you're male or female), then DON'T HAVE KIDS! Simple as that!
2. These feminuts keep talking about this topic as if the only reason all women can't reach the top is because the mean penis club is keeping them from reaching it! In case you haven't figured it out laides, very few people will ever reach the top of that golden ladder. Doesn't matter if you're a man or woman. I just hope you don't destroy your children with your fruitless attempts in doing so. But as it usual is with feminuts, it'll never be your fault, will it?
Wow, you are one angry dude.
buahaha let me guess, your mom was a feminut? But I have to agree with you on the fact that if women want to climb the coporate ladder and not be there for the kids at all, then no point in having kids.
I am a man....
Did I get into the wrong line or something? I didn't realize there was a way to, "get it all." I thought I had to work all day to make money. I didn't realize that I had the ability to do whatever the heck I want and still get paid as much as potting in 10 hr days. Had I known this, I would have certainly been getting on that train long ago. Why have I been working my a** off, exactly? Are there women out there who think there is some international society of men where we sit around all day, smoke cigars and drink brandy talking about how we really suckered those women?
You can't have it all. Period. High paying jobs are high paying because they suck. They have long hours and are hard. If you want a family, you may have to forgo the six-figures because you CAN'T have it all. I wan't a car that is 500 horse power. But I also want a car that gets 40 MPG. Those two things can not go together. You can have one or the other. You can have tasty or you can have healthy. There is always a trade off....if you think otherwise, you are kidding yourself.
A silly discussion. No one has it all and that includes men and women. All choices involve a trade off. Why do people persist in believing they can have their cake and eat it too.
Men who ask for too much at work get fired.
And women shouldn't have a hard time balancing their work and life.
My mom graduated from Georgetown, has taken classes at Oxford and was accepted to Princeton (didn't attend though). And she did all of this while raising me alone and working full time. She never asked for special treatment at work, and I've never felt that she didn't have time for me.
Men have to work their butt off to get a good position and take care of their family while working long hours. It's no different for women. These kind of women need to stop acting like the world is out to get them because my mother has taught me my entire life that women are equal to men...not inferior, not superior.
And FYI, she makes more than 90% of the men AND women in her field.
Men who ask for too much at work get fired. Women that ask for too much at work usually get it and then us it against the one that gave it to them.
What is the definition of "having it all"? Because I do not think a one-size-fits-all definitely exists... hence, how can anyone answer this question?
For me, right now, I've come close to having a lot. But, it's not perfect. I doubt it ever will be. I'm in a much better spot than many other women - i.e. no more than 40 hrs a week, work from home with a sick kid any time needed, take off easily for dr appointments and even kids' school events. What would make it better? Working from home - simply so I could skip out on a 30 min commute & mandatory 30 min lunch - would add 1 - 1.5 hours back to my day.
And here is the irony of what you say about it would be better if you could work at home. Isn't working at home the role women were relegated to in the past, just without the separate income? See how it goes full circle? You recognize that children need a parent available to them at home and this is generally best the mother. If you didn't feel like your children would benefit from it you wouldn't suggest it, if they would benefit from it then you concede they are missing out on it now. What this really boils down to is that women can't have it all because children and a career each demand more time than a woman has to provide.
Just playing devil's advocate here because you kind of summed up the whole counterpoint to "having it all" in your post. Personally I support the 21 hour workweek so that a woman can "have it all" while also spreading out jobs so that everyone can have one without sacrificing the next generation.
I would expect less ignorance from a Princeton professor. True women can have it all but only at the expense of their children. As that is the case, it is plain to see why women cannot have it all, unless they are narcissists who don't care about burning the people they chose to bring into the world. I'm really getting sick of the denial of biology that is pervading American thought. No, women and men are not equal, if we were equal there would not be women and men, there would only be one sex and we would reproduce asexually. Deny it all you want but it doesn't change the reality of the fact that higher order animals evolved with sexes because each has its own subniche to fill within the particular niche of that animal.
Another MEN SUCK article from Eve.
Why is this a "woman" issue? Doesn't everyone deserve to have a reasonable balance between work and family?
The Civil War was fought (in part) to secure freedom for those held in bondage (i.e. slaves). Now, many Americans are being held in a different form of bondage... they are "white collar slaves" to Corporate America...
Just look at the Salary Exempt Laws (which apply to 45% of working Americans)... These laws prompt "white collar slavery" by allowing Corporate America to "force" employees to work excessively long hours without the benefit of additional monetary compensation or compensating time off...
When the Salary Exempt status was originally created it applied to only 5% of the workforce... Now, it 45%... We need to revamp this law so that, once again, it only applies to 5% of the workforce and only the most senior corporate executives...
Nobody can "have it all". Being treated equil means you earn the right based on your contributions. Everybody in my group (including the single female) works evenings, weekends, holidays and performs an on-call rotation that sometimes requires an 80 hour week (were all salary). No slacking, no special/preferential treatment. Yes - I sometimes miss out on things I'd rather be doing but those are the rules of this job/position - take it or leave it. Having a uterus doesn't entitle anybody to preferential treatment. It's a "shared" sacrifice in our family. I work like a dog to support my family, my wife sactrificed her carieer to stay at home full time with our kids (homeschooled). At least for now, our "kids" can have it all (its about them, not us)
i understand that kids are important the thing that gets to me is that their are moms who use them to get out of doing stuff like early shifts at work,late shifts an leaves it to those who don't have kids to pick up the slack. we have lives to an it is not fair sometimes when we need time off to do personnel stuff that is important to us just because they have kids if you are going to work then you should have to work shifts assigned to you.
When I take time off to take the kids to their medical apts or when I stay home when they are sick, I use my sick leave. From what I understand, all employees in a company have same sick time. There's no separate sick time for mommies.
I used all my vacation time on sick kids...in the 80's, wasnt there something called a "Family Leave Act"that was supposed to cover this? You could get time off for sick family (without pay) but the work place could not fire you...?
i understand when kids are sick an no i do not blame you as i would to because you have to take care of your kids. i understand that cause they need mommy but what i do not get is that they use it as an excuse for getting out of other things . i am not saying it is every mom there are a few that do use it to their advantage an milk it. it is those who give every working mom a bad rap.
No one has it all.
People make choices about whether to have kids, what job to take and whether it will allow them to spend more or less time with their family.
So it just depends what is fullfilling to people and the choices they make.
Men dont "have it all" either, in the sense that they have all of most days to spend with the kids, and have a demanding and fullfilling job. So why should women expect to be able to do this, its just not possible.
Women want it all? So what's new.
When women achieve equality, they will lose their superiority!
The two sexes can never be truly equal, if you look at the advantages, and disadvantages of both sexes. They tend to equal out in their totality.
This discussion is a total waste of time. People are people, their sex, color, ethnic background, etc. doesn't make any of them better, or worse that anyone else in this world.
A decent/smart/dumb/etc. person is just that, nothing more or less. And the above doesn't make a damn bit of difference!
No one has it all. No one will ever "have it all." Life is full of tradeoffs and difficult decisions. The best we can do is work together to create a balance.
Articles like this bother me because they always put men and women at odds.
Guys, the days of all women staying home are over. Our economy is dictating this, not just a bunch of feminists. You can lament a time when this wasn't the case, but that's not going to do anything to help anyone now.
Ladies, whatever made you think that you could have it all? And, really, what is having it all? When we decided to enter the workforce, we knew we had to give up things at home. Why is this such a shock? Just do the best you can. If you want to climb to the tip-top of the corporate ladder, then maybe you shouldn't have kids or, even better, hire a good nanny or marry a man who would like to stay home. But, please, stop complaining about how you are never home. That was your choice.
The most important thing here is that men and women stop pointing fingers at each other and arguing about who has it worse. We ALL need to work together to raise the next generation within the confines of this dual-income economy - because it's not going to change anytime soon. Sheesh.
can we get a definition of having it all... a million dollar home, a new BMW every year. things my wife could care a less about. Having a family that loves her, Her job as a teacher and being able to afford simple pleasures to her that is success, quite frankly I have to agree with her when I was working 60 to 70 hrs a week as a PM life sucked. now that I am teaching full time at a university I have found work life balance. Does happiness mean keeping up with the jones or identifying simple things that make you smile
This lady is likely a firm believer in the "entitlement culture" present in our nation. They believe they have a right to "everything" and they want it now!
I think a lot of the point to this article is that women feel torn and feel an obligation to the welfare of their children where as men don't take that same thought into consideration or let it bother them. The paycheck is enough. In most cases, women also do a lot more around the house, while working the same amount of hours as their husband. There is disparity and conflict for women because of the lack of support. Yes, having it all is a very personal thing that is different to each person. But asking for the same wage as a man doing the same job with the same quality isn't too much to ask for either.
Michelle wrote " women also do a lot more around the house, while working the same amount of hours as their husband"
Most women see hours at work as equal contribution to the household. Most men measure the contribution in $$.
" But asking for the same wage as a man doing the same job with the same quality isn't too much to ask for either."
There is zero evidence that women are underpaid for the same job. Every mass media article that discusses the sex wage gap does not conclude that sexual discrimination is the source of pay inequity, despite provocative titles designed to draw eyeballs to advertisements.
The bulk of the full time worker (defined as 35+ hrs/week) sex wage gap is explained by the simple fact that women log fewer hours per week and pursue fewer overtime, night and weekend hours.
A better comparison would be female contribution to the tax base, which on average is less per year for fewer work years. Also, women live five years longer, on average, while continuing to draw Social security to the tune of 50% more than men. Why aren't women charged 100% higher FICA tax rates to make up for their lower income and longer life spans?
I have no problem with women in the work place, having the same jobs, and the same salaries as their male counterparts but, there are choices to be made. For most everyone, men and women alike, you just can't have it all. Sure, there may be a very few who have found the perfect formula but, for the vast majority of us, something will have to give. I think men, more now than ever, are looking more at the welfare of their children, women I feel do that to a larger degree but, men are beginning to embrace that role as well. In the end, women, for the most part, will be torn between raising their children and wanting to make it in their career whereas men, for the most part, will not consider the children as much when making career decisions.