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New research shows that kids who pay all or part of their college costs are less likely to do things like binge drink.
If you’re doing everything you can to save for your children’s college education, chances are it’s because you think that will give your kids the best start in life.
Here’s a radical thought: Maybe the best thing you can do for your kids is ask them to pay at least some of their own way.
New research from the School of Family Life at Brigham Young University finds that kids whose parents are footing the entire college bill, including tuition, books, housing and recreation money, were most likely to be partying and possibly floundering.
“Parents who pay for everything -- including their children’s recreation and fun money -- they have children who are more heavily into drinking, drug use, marijuana use,” said Laura Padilla-Walker, associate professor of at BYU’s School of Family Life.
Padilla-Walker’s research also found that the kids whose parents were paying for everything had less of a sense of what they wanted to do in the future than those who were getting little or no help from Mom and Dad. Not surprisingly, they also were less likely to be working while going to school.
The findings, which were based on an analysis of about 400 college kids across the country, suggest that it may be good for kids to at least pay for some of their own expenses while they are in college. Without the structure of a job or the responsibility of having to pay some of their own way, some kids may simply be getting distracted.
At the very least, parents may be able to stop fretting so much about saving for college.
“It doesn’t look like you have to pay all your student’s college expenses in order for them to be successful,” Padilla-Walker said.
You may want to help out somewhat, however. In her study, the kids that seemed the most focused on school and the future were actually the ones that were getting no help at all.
Still, she cautioned that that route also has its pitfalls. Some kids who are footing the bill on their own might take longer to graduate or have to drop out because they can’t afford to keep going to school. They also may not take the time to really figure out what they are best suited for in terms of a career.
A sharper focus on the long-term goal of college, rather than the partying aspect, is clearly beneficial. Padilla-Walker noted that many kids are taking longer than the usual four years to graduate from school, and some aren’t really getting a start in life until they are 28 or 30.
“I think most parents would prefer it to be closer to the 25 range,” she said.
Tip of the hat to The New York Times, which first reported on the study.
Related: Senior citizens owe billions in student loans
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I appreciate the author's point BUT, here is Utah, too many families have litters and abscond from financial responsibility. They don't save for their kids' college educations but they expect others to pick up the tab -- and use the convenient excuse: "I think my kid should pay for college on their own." That's bull$#!+. What happens is these kids take out loans they can't repay, get married early, have kids of their own and get state-funded health care for the kids. (I've also noticed they don't turn down scholarships for "financial need" -- so the idea that they're "pulling their on weight" is bogus.) Instead, parents should save for their children's educations as soon as that child is born. There's no reason why those kids can't contribute as they're growing up and while they're in college;.
I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but my parents do pay most of the cost of my education. Honestly, for me the guilt of wasting their money is enough to keep me focused. I'm not really a partier at any rate, and I barely ever drink at all.
Too many parents learn after the kids are grown that giving your kids everything teaches them nothing. Making kids works for what they get helps them understand what it takes to get thing done and allows them to learn from mistakes.
Remember what you learned from your mistakes (hopefully you did). Without that learning they become Paris Hilton.
To each his own but if parents can afford to put/help put their child through college then so be it. The student won't have to be worried about where money for the next semester is going to come from. It's a beautiful thing not to have to pay back loans as soon as you get out in the "real" world. Life is stressful enough.
I also wonder how much more likely it is for those who pay their own bills to just drop out and settle for work that doesn't require a degree. The cost of college is pretty outrageous in my opinion, especially if you live on campus. Several thousand dollars to share a tiny dirty room with someone else.
My parents had 4 children but only supported the youngest when he went to college. The rest of us older ones were on our own. We did, academically, much better than our lil bro. And I do believe, in part, that one of the reasons was that our education was on our dime. I married early, had a child, worked full time, and went to school at night to get my degree.
Fast forward. I have 2 children. I thought I was going to make my eldest road a little easier if she didn't have to worry about finances so I paid for the whole thing...to the tune of almost $150,000 and that was 20 years ago. She barely graduated.
When my son came along I found a lot of scholarships and passed the info onto my son. He applied and all of his education was paid for through scholarships and he graduated with a 3.9. He knew if he lost his scholarships he would have to take out student loans so he did what he had to do.
And by the way-he wasn't resentful. He had no idea how his sister's tuition was paid. He didn't care. He just knew that he was responsible for his future.
I'm just saying-don't give your kids too much. Ultimately, you are doing them no favors. Plus, unspoken or not, they receive a message of entitlement and that is never a good thing.
I will tell you what I did with my twin daughters. They were told early in high school that I would pay their college costs out of current income but I would not borrow. They could go to a state university and I could pick up the tab for that out of my yearly salary. If they wanted another school they would have to pay for it. Neither one wanted the state U. route so both were forced to look for a means of paying their own way at private schools. By their high school junior year they had researched and discovered schools that would award complete academic scholarships provided they jumped through the necessary hoops. Both did what they needed to do and each got full scholarships, one to Boston University and the other to Fordham in NYC. Both did well and as each wanted to go to grad school they pursued the graduate fellowship route which they had learned to navigate. Each found her school, one Stanford, the other Berkeley where each received her doctorate with no costs to me. Both are doing quite well now. One teaches at Stanford, the other is in the gaming industry. I think that much of their success came from the realization that to do well in this life they had to take charge of their lives and do for themselves what needed to be done. Had they had their higher education given them without a cost to them they would not have acquired the skills necessary to have become successful young women.
One problem since 2001 we have been in and out of recessions and employment for teens is practically non existent. So much for the earning factor. As for grants, a student may have to show need based on parental income--and grants are being cut back at many higher ed institutions. A lot of these kids will be left in limbo and paying for student loans if they have any hope of attending college--and trying to work and maintain grades and sleep while they go to school.
Why not make it a family affair? Allowance for the kids for family chores--part of it goes to the college fund--parents matches it. Kid gets a job, part of wages goes to college fund, parents matches it. It's too late for the generation of kids wanting to enter college now, but if the economy improves, so may youth employment.
And if the kids stops contributing, so should the parents.
A kid will not earn enough in his/her lifetime to fund higher education. given college costs that is just fact. Kids who work full time while attending college find their grades suffer--that's fact too. I say help your kids help themselves and warn them that student loans are a long hard road, but in the long run, a college education is worth whatever cost.
I've known many individuals whose sole purpose of attending college was to put off work for a couple years. A previous boss of mine had a son in college and when it became obvious that the gist of my statement was his sons ploy, he told the kid "If you want to attend next year, your going to have to kick in for tuition". The next year he was felling timber with the rest of us.
I hear you. I have worked at a high school for 20 years and I can spot a mile away those students that are going to college because they want to, because their parents want them to, or because they just don't know what else to do.
Not all graduating high school students are suited for college. Vocational school is a good option as is earning certifications in specific areas.
A college degree is not what it used to be.
"“Parents who pay for everything -- including their children’s recreation and fun money -- they have children who are more heavily into drinking, drug use, marijuana use,” said Laura Padilla-Walker, associate professor of at BYU’s School of Family Life."
Maybe that is what happened to rmoney, he is certainly a retard.
I know I would have taken college much more seriously and would have been done much quicker if I was paying my own expenses. I knew quite a few people who didn't have any financial support, and they pretty much spent all of their time in class, studying, or working. That's all they did, ever. I can see why they were motivated to finish as quickly as possible, taking 18+ credits a semester. It was certainly way less fun for them.
But whatever, I graduated and found a decent job. I don't think I'd be much better off today if I had paid my own way.
I know I would have taken college much more seriously and would have been done much quicker if I was paying my own expenses. I knew quite a few people who didn't have any financial support, and they pretty much spent all of their time in class, studying, or working. That's all they did, ever. I can see why they were motivated to finish as quickly as possible, taking 18+ credits a semester. It was certainly way less fun for them.
But whatever, I graduated and found a decent job. I don't think I'd be much better off today if I had paid my own way.
I have 2 exceptional daughters that decided college was the way to go. Our agreement from the start was that the parents will pay for year one provided grade levels were maintained. Our view was that the 1st year anywhere different can be tough to get accustomed too and as long as the grades are there, it is money well spent and education earned. Win WIn. The rest is on them. We do provide a vehicle and insurence because these costs are too much to keep up with and Co-signing for loans is part of the this deal too but adding a purpose for maintaining a grade level on thier own dime adds ownership and pride that you can not buy. The oldest has moved past her Masters and doing well in the Columbus Oh. community. The Younger is working hard at following in her sisiters footsteps and we couldn't be prouder. This country has to insure the children replacing us do not rely on the "entitled" attitude that they hold on to but understand that hard work moves you forward.
Really a non issue today. College costs have skyrocketed so high that most parents can't afford to send their kids, and those who go come out with a mountain of debt even if they work part time while attending. Soon the only kids who will be able to attend are the very wealthy (lazy) as pictured above, or the very poor. The middle class will work at Burger King and be destroyed, all the while giving the top 1% giant tax breaks they don't need and shouldn't have. Kids need to learn responsibility in paying some of their college expenses, but get real. They average graduate comes away with a 40K debt and then has to pay it back with a low paying job with increasingly crappy benefits. College costs now outweigh the benefit of attending college. It is sad but true. At least in this country.
Do both, parents put in some, student puts in some via part-time work and loans. Grad school is different; by then they have a Bachelor's degree and have grown up. At that point I have no problem with parents fully funding that MBA, JD, MD, etc. This generation of kids are WAY too spoiled and I'm only 40. Kids today don't wash the family car, don't cut grass or do yard work, don't work at the local fast food joint, etc. They aren't asked to DO anything. I'm not sure why but it doesn't work like that in my house. Kids taking care of their home and possessions (and ultimately, the house and cars, etc. ARE theirs), is a good lesson to learn and it cannot start too early. My 8 yr old blows the clippings after I mow (with an electric blower) and he loves it---as well as the 5 bucks he gets. He learns the value of working and the joy of getting paid.
Sounds great if you are in a position to fund an MD. Most of us are not. I am a teacher and my children will have loans and be saddled with huge costs because our incomes don't allow for savings of that kind. YEs I agree kids need to help out, to a point, but funding college on a part time job while having a family do the rest requires those parents to be able to afford it. Most can't, and If you can afford law school for your children's post grad work good for you. Most can't.
Johnnycakes: please read what I wrote a few posts earlier. I failed to mention that I was a public high school history teacher and I learned very quickly I had to be prudent with how I allocated resources. If you are still in teaching go into the guidance office and research the schools that will grant full scholarships without reference to financial need, race or anything else other than academic talent and a proven work ethic. As written above, Boston University and Fordham have such scholarships and so did my daughters discover many others at what is called "below the Ivies". but don't do all the work. When they get to high school make sure your kids know that they have to start doing the leg work to get these scholarships.
I paid about 85% of my college expenses. I also used marijuana and partied. But I worked nights 20-40 hours per week through-out college, and did work-study and co-op programs. I agree that it is good to pay your own way. You learn independence and responsibility. I also agree that it is not easy, and that many people will fail if you force them down this course. There is a happy medium. Parents and students should be communicating. If you are not working too much and have time to study, and take your education seriously, then you will have a better chance of succeeding.
Probably because their too busy working after or before class...?
Yes, it seems like the result of this research is a "no-brainer". When we give everything to our kids we are just setting ourselves up for a nation full of "entitlements". When did personal responsibility go flying out our doors? As parents we don't want to see our children struggle, but they do need to understand that nothing in this life is free. They need honest, open discussions about what can and will be paid for, the financial limitations of the parents, and what should happen after graduation. it may be that the parents are in a position to fund the college costs (COST ONLY- NOT RECREATION) at the beginning, but after college the child will know they are fully expected to pick up the bill, having at least a partial stake in their future and thus a far better "education" and lesson learned in the end. And hopefully they extend that lesson to their own children as well. We have FAR too many in the "entitlement generation" already.
Common sense...we did that and our daughter is an RN employed and since she has to pay those tuition cost upfront now she is very thrifty on her spending and saving a lot. That also prevents them to go and waste those resources in dream degrees and get into something that will increase their chances of getting a job!!!
I liked Jesse Ventura's approach from the moment that I first heard it.
Tell your kids that you will pay 100% of the cost of college for 2 years; junior and senior. If they want it badly enough they'll do whatever they can to come up with the money (or grades) to get halfway through school. Then you know that they want it, they will stick with it and that they deserve it.
I went through college with too many kids who didn't really want to be there but the alternative was to have to find a job and go to work. Mooching off of mommy and daddy was a much more atttractive option for them.
I wonder if the author is smoking dope, on crack, or just old fashioned drunk. If you let your children take out student loans for college, the chances are they will not get out of debt for numerous years. After they graduate they will be unable to get a good start of life, because they are in debt, with little chance of getting out of debt. Purchasing a house or even getting a good apartment will be almost impossible. You brought them into the world now take care of them. They will be your children forever.
If you die with a couple of hundred thousand dollars less does it matter, they will get your money now or later, so help them out now. If you are so greedy that you think you will be able to take it with you, ask Jesus when you get there where is my money. It is OK for them to work part time for spending money, and to help pay for books.
They will party with or without you paying for college so let them get better items to party with.
My parents taught me to save and what "responsibility" means from a young age. I paid for half of my prom costs, half of my first car, and 3/4 of my college education. I got a PT job while in HS and college to buy what I wanted. I splurged on things I really wanted, but I quickly learned that good money decisions made me independent and proud of it. Today, my husband and I have investments, retirement savings and no credit card debt; we bought a house could afford, a car we could afford, and we feel very stable.
Don't hand everything to you kids--teach them how to handle money properly and help them recover (once, maybe) if they fail. Its like the old saying, "give a man a fish" vs "teach a man to fish."
My parents paid for the tuition, but I worked and paid for the living expenses. I think that is the best way to do it.
I paid for my own college education - starting at age 17. What was not covered by scholarships, I took out a student loan and had a work grant job on campus. I paid for all my own expenses and did not ask for one dime from my parents. I don't think any parent owes their child a college education. I worked like hell and slept from 2-6 a.m. I graduated with a triple major and also had ROTC courses.
While my roommates were reveling, partying and sleeping, I was studying. Their grades were not as good as mine. I graduated Phi Beta Kappa and cum laude, in only 4 years - in addition to being the first woman in my area to graduate with a commission through ROTC. I also had the highest GPA- out of over 100 students - in my Military History class. I don't regret the hard work, sacrifice and cost one bit. It taught me that I could do anything if I had enough determination. Yes, I had student loans after I graduated, but that made me even more determined to focus on the goal and value my education.
A friend did the same - putting himself through medical school, working nights at a hospital - again with absolutely no financial aid from parents.
I like everything to be free, so don't pay your kids tuition, pay mine!