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New research shows that kids who pay all or part of their college costs are less likely to do things like binge drink.
If you’re doing everything you can to save for your children’s college education, chances are it’s because you think that will give your kids the best start in life.
Here’s a radical thought: Maybe the best thing you can do for your kids is ask them to pay at least some of their own way.
New research from the School of Family Life at Brigham Young University finds that kids whose parents are footing the entire college bill, including tuition, books, housing and recreation money, were most likely to be partying and possibly floundering.
“Parents who pay for everything -- including their children’s recreation and fun money -- they have children who are more heavily into drinking, drug use, marijuana use,” said Laura Padilla-Walker, associate professor of at BYU’s School of Family Life.
Padilla-Walker’s research also found that the kids whose parents were paying for everything had less of a sense of what they wanted to do in the future than those who were getting little or no help from Mom and Dad. Not surprisingly, they also were less likely to be working while going to school.
The findings, which were based on an analysis of about 400 college kids across the country, suggest that it may be good for kids to at least pay for some of their own expenses while they are in college. Without the structure of a job or the responsibility of having to pay some of their own way, some kids may simply be getting distracted.
At the very least, parents may be able to stop fretting so much about saving for college.
“It doesn’t look like you have to pay all your student’s college expenses in order for them to be successful,” Padilla-Walker said.
You may want to help out somewhat, however. In her study, the kids that seemed the most focused on school and the future were actually the ones that were getting no help at all.
Still, she cautioned that that route also has its pitfalls. Some kids who are footing the bill on their own might take longer to graduate or have to drop out because they can’t afford to keep going to school. They also may not take the time to really figure out what they are best suited for in terms of a career.
A sharper focus on the long-term goal of college, rather than the partying aspect, is clearly beneficial. Padilla-Walker noted that many kids are taking longer than the usual four years to graduate from school, and some aren’t really getting a start in life until they are 28 or 30.
“I think most parents would prefer it to be closer to the 25 range,” she said.
Tip of the hat to The New York Times, which first reported on the study.
Related: Senior citizens owe billions in student loans
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Here’s a radical thought... Teach your children about how much college costs as early as possible, show them the options out there (scholarships, loans, education reimbursement through work & other organizations) and work out the finances together, letting your child know honestly if you can help cover any costs. Be up front about it before your child begins applying for colleges neither they or you can afford and take out unmanageable loan amounts. From personal experience, I know children who have been accepted to their dream school without a clue that they must pay the full ride- no financial expectations were ever discussed in the college education application process. This discussion should take place well before its time to apply for colleges (if you choose to do so- college itself is also an option, depending on your career field and the education requirements).
If your child is brought up right and they choose the correct paths in life, then there is no reason why a parent shouldn't pay for their college... IF they have the means to do so without struggling afterwards.
If your kid is an @!$%# then don't waste your money. Definitely show them what struggle and money is all about. But continue to push them to get higher edjucation.
Not radical at all. My ex had a full-ride from his parents. They are still paying for him in his forties. My husband didn't get a dime from his. It did take him longer, but he worked and paid for his own education. He's working in the same field he studied in college.
My husband has already been upfront with our children that Mom and Dad fully expect that they fund their own education. They can apply for scholarships and grants. They can live at home while they are in school.
Some family don't see it our way. Grandparents have already started a college fund. Funny they come up with this plan after they made us pay our way. Eh...gift horse/mouth.
There are three type of lies--big lies, white lies and statistics. I know a number of young men and women who could not deal with college life because they had to work too much to get through school. And I know a number young men and women who had everything paid for and partied all the time and flunked out. The individuals who were raised with the proper values succeeded. It doesn't take a survey to figure that out. So, I agree with EAL. Start by teaching your son/daughter social/financial/educational responsibility. Everything else will take care of itself if you pay your way through school or someone else picks up the tab.
I personally think the best method, and what this study is actually pointing out, is to help your kids with college (money permitting) to the point that they are not fearing having to drop out, yet they still need to work part-time to have some spending money, buy books etc. Having to work at least a little in college definitely prepares you more for the "real world" where you have to balance multiple things and make sacrifices. If you saved more than enough for your kids education you can still let them foot some of the bill, then when they graduate pay off any loans they had to take out. Having everything given to you all the time rarely results in the best work ethic or individual, although there are exceptions (for the people with "perfect" children who will want to chime in to that).
Holy crap, I'm so sick of this 'research' that is basically common sense. Next headline: Research Shows Students Who Drink Excessively Get Bad Grades ....oh really? Of course kids are likely to do better in school if they know they're paying their way. It's called responsibility.
Why am I not surprised at this?
We tend to value things in proportion to what we pay for them. If college education is free, many students will attach little or no value to it. On the other hand, if they have invested some of their own hard-earned money in it, they will try to at least get their money's worth.
Alicia - While this was also common knowledge to me, I have to disagree with your statement. This is in fact not common knowledge to many people, and I can understand why, even though I disagree. Many parents feel that removing the entire financial burdens of college will allow their children to focus solely on school and do the best they can. What they are missing is that kids have enough time and resources to do the best they can in college while also working at least part time. The answer "well duh" does not go too far to alerting people to facts, which is why studies come in handy.
Great comment, I agree. I think college performance is more closely related to upbringing than to the way it is funded. If you trust in your son/daughter's good judgment and he/she has been responsible throughout high school, I see no reason why not to help.
In our house it boiled down to we will help if you help yourself. Their mother and I have helped and are currently helping, but we are not footing the whole bill. A kid/young adult cannot be responsible if they have no responsibilities. We also talked about college and how it works early and often.
I love statisticians. They will spend grueling amounts of time and frustration pooring over data in order to successfully derive a conclusion that we all knew already. But they're so happy to see it in numbers. I hated my stats teacher. She was one of these.
Jake the Duck - "A kid/young adult cannot be responsible if they have no responsibilities"
Excellent!
Most kids are 18 years old after graduating high school, in the eyes of most they are now adults and should start taking on adult responsibilities. My theory is this, put yourself through college, get a job and pay your own way (whether on your own or with your parents) or join the service. I've been working since I was 15 years old and supporting myself or helping out with money at home. These days there is no pride and staying home in your 20's isn't the stigma it used to be.
Parents should have the opportunity to enjoy life as an adult and the added expense of their adult kids makes this pretty tough to do. Granted the lack of manufacturing jobs that don't require a degree are making it tough for the dumb kids but that's why you work at McDonald's and hand your paycheck to your parents. At least you will have a place to sleep and food to eat.
Here's the thing, back in the 70's and 80's parents were strict and kids couldn't wait to get out of the house and on their own. Modern parents refuse to raise their kids this way and instead want to be best friends. Kids don't want to leave because they have it too good where they are.
Let's get the hierarchy back where it belongs, adults on top kids way down below and while we are at it start teaching kids there are winners and losers because this experiment with teaching kids there are no losers is part of the overall problem. You're not special, you are an individual that is being raised to deal with a very tough world and financing your continued education is a great start. If you were raised to expect the difficulty in this, your first adult undertaking, you will be a better person for it.
Browns Backer - kudos for saying it like it really is
I don't care what this article suggests. It is probably not a swell idea to deliberately saddle kids with a debt the size of a mortgage loan to take out into the world as they are getting started on an adult life if that is not necessary. But, it is entirely appropriate to discuss financial strategy (ranging from what colleges are in an appropriate price range to how much parents CAN contribute and what parents' expectations are for the student's contribution, both in terms of monetary contributions and academic standards to be met.) This might also involve a realistic assessment of the child's abilities and interests and whether these may best be served by some other type of post high school schooling.
Browns Backer,
I disagree with half of your statement of "Here's the thing, back in the 70's and 80's parents were strict and kids couldn't wait to get out of the house and on their own."
I remember the Baby Boomer parents as rejecting the standards set forth by the WWII generation. The WWII gen was strict, the BB gen rejected it because it gave them a bad "vibe". I was raised by BB parents and could not wait to leave their house and do things on my own. They did not care if I went to college or anywhere else as long as I went away. They were typical Baby Boomers in that they only thought of themselves and did almost zero parenting. They were only concerned with themselves and wanted me out of their way so they could "have the opportunity to enjoy life as an adult and the added expense of their adult kids makes this pretty tough to do." They had me but did not want to be burdened by me. Again, like most Baby Boomers, I was "cramping their style" and they were too selfish to even realize that. Baby Boomers are still narcissistic and only think of "what is in it for me."
The rest of your comment I pretty much agree with.
I am sorry - but this study sounds like it was funded by the Koch brothers. If students graduate with massive debt, then they will have to accept the first job that comes along - even ones with a 'low ball' pay. The best way to manage the workforce is to keep them in debt - this forces them to keep working and not take risks like walking out (or unionizing).
100% agree with Blake above - it depends on the values with which a child is raised. My parents (teachers whose salaries would barely qualify as middle-class) encouraged me to attend the best school possible and supported my decision to attend an Ivy League college that didn't offer us financial assistance. Knowing that my parents were paying over $30,000/year for me to study there, I committed everything I had to my studies...and graduated on-time summa cum laude in one of the most difficult degrees.
There was no way I was going to waste the kind generosity of my parents for a short-lived social scene, and I've never regretted it to this day. Their covering my college finances enabled me to focus on my academics without worrying about paying for books, food, rent, etc. Just because parents may pay for their child's education, it doesn't inherently mean that that kid will waste his or her academic opportunities.
Yes it is a just a big conspiracy to keep you poor so that the evil rich can keep all their money.
Taking risks is what life is all about.
Thinking that it is your parents responsibility to make sure that you make something out of your life is absurd, Your parents gave you live and they should not have to spend their life paying so that you "Don't have to take the first job that comes along with low ball pay".
Big conspiracy...lol
Is "live" the same thing as "life?" Guess you had the education you deserved.
Absolutely true, I've already had this discussion with friends of mine that most kids I knew in college that had their parents pay everything were the ones that didn't have a major and did nothing. The students that had loans and paid their way, all ended up graduating with better degrees.
If I had a dollar for every time I've been told that I'm an irresponsible parent for not bottoming out my savings to send my kids to school, I'd have enough to send my kids to school.
I didn't get any assistance from my parents growing up. I've had a job with the family business since I was 12, and was expected to save half of my earnings and pay for the majority of things I needed. I went to school for 5 years on that savings before the well ran dry. (Word to the wiser, a double major is really expensive.) After that was gone I finished my degrees with loans that I will be paying back for the next ten years. I don't blame my parents for not helping me. They let me live at home rent free, fed me, did my laundry and encouraged me to be the best I could be. If they would have continuously shoveled money at me, I wouldn't have learned the value of the work I put into my degrees. It would be like everything else that children are given...something to be taken for granted.
Hello, they "let me live at home rent free, fed me, did my laundry. How is that NOT "helping" you? SHEESH.
lol i consider halving your expenses plenty of help!
I wonder if the same conclusion can be applied to high school students whose parents buy them cars? Or aid and abet bad behavior by simply automatically standing by their kids without knowing all the facts.
My experience is the kids I know who have to work early and pay their own way are head and shoulders above spoiled little rich kids in maturity and responsibility to say nothing of ethics and morality. True, this is my observation and obviously can not "stereotype" every kid.
Actually, this is true for most everyone in general. The fact is that people appreciate things that they work for a lot more than things that are given to them. When I was in college the best students were those who paid their own way. Why? Because they had invested their own money in it. Why are they going to spend money on something that they are going goof off on. The reverse can also be said. No money invested then it doesn't mean as much. That's not to say that some won't do just as well, just that human nature is that the more you have invested in something the more you'll put into it.
There's a reason why we have been the most prosperous nation the world has ever seen. There's also a reason why we are losing that edge. This article gives a hint.
That's why we shouldn't have the fed govt paying for college for everyone! Obama and the rest of the entitlement society Dems should pay attention to this study!
Its all just a balance. You can spoil your kids a bit yet still discipline them and teach them valuable life lessons. Thats a proper upbringing. My parents did it well. I had a car at 17. But it was a gift for getting my Eagle Scout and graduating with a 3.8.
I know of a situation where the son was going to finance his own college education but when it was all said and done they approved his unemployed mother for the student loan. It's an interesting system that will approve a broke unemployed single mother for 20,000 in loan money. Just makes you scratch your head wondering why the world finances are so screwed up.
In the end he didn't make it through his third semester because he was too busy partying with his buddies with the free money that was put in his account when mom was working the occasional odd job. He didn't talk to anyone about the lack of financing on the loan his mother couldn't pay because I guess it wasn't all that important to him. He is now back at home freeloading. 20 years old and going nowhere.
If the students have to work to pay for some expenses, then the time they work is the time they can not party 20 -40 hrs. of work means no time to party ! ( And keep the job )
Yes and no. By the end of grad school, I'd gone from low level intern to high stress fast paced 40 hour a week position in the job I used to pay for my education. That on top of working on my degree and being a caregiver (which is a different story) basically turned me into a basket case.
My last semester I had to take sleeping pills to sleep and caffeine pills to get moving because my body couldn't regulate itself anymore because I was constantly on the go, and the rare moments I wasn't on the go I was drinking like a fish to try to calm the anxiety. When I wasn't at work or in class I was to the best of my recollection usually in varying stages of drunkenness.
The day after I walked with my graduate degree (and a 4.0 but I'm not sure how I managed that to be honest) I quit my job and spent four months living on savings and trying to get my health back to an acceptable state (i.e. normal sleeping and no more drinking) before I started looking for my first "real" job.
My daughter is a straight A student and paying her own way. She is on her third year of a five year program for her Bachelors. She has scheduled herself so that she has some stress but not going crazy, hence the five year plan instead of four for her first degree.
draco---You gave the Cliff Notes of your college career but sounds to me like you didn't pull back on the reigns when you needed to. I'm surprised you are even functional after that description but it also sounds to me that even the most high stress job shouldn't phase you now. I hope life has improved for you since.
I agree with the article. Looking back my parents were not in a position to pay for my college as I am the last of 13 kids. Student loans were not available cause supposedly my dad made too much. I got a couple scholarships but financing college was on me. My parents did offer to help if needed but they were elderly. My parents did loan me their car as needed but usually I used public transportation. I was also without health insurance at the age of 21 which was scary but I sure didn't take any risks to land me in the hospital. I had also gotten a few small scholarships for academics my senior year of high school which were burned up in the first 2 semesters. I worked 40-60 hours per week plus the first 2 years did extracurricular sports. Had to give up the extracurriculars cause I had no time for sleep (only about 3 hours per night). Had to take off a couple semesters cause I couldn't afford the previous ones, but with summer classes and perserverence I got my 4 year degree in 6 years. I do not regret this since I had no college loans to pay off.
My husband on the other hand had his college paid for by his parents. He partied it up the first 2 years, got married to a bimbo which lasted only 3 years, and pretty much failed out of school within his first 2 years. By the time I met him he had begun going back to school. It took him 8 years to get his bachelors degree since he was working and paying for his own education now, although I contributed since I was married to him by this time. He was top in his class and now excels in his profession.
Although we do have college funds set up for our children, we have agreed to not let the kids know about these funds until they really need to utilize them. We expect even with working they will struggle so we will supplement if needed. We encourage hard work and responsibility. I am also one who does not appreciate the government leniency in "handouts". There certainly are people who can use some assistance but many have turned to expect assistance. I worked hard to get where I am and would like to reap the benefits of my hard work.
I would just like to note that you can't work 20-40 hrs a week in all degrees. My department works me 20 hrs a week for regular work and I am on contract with them that I CANNOT work any outside jobs. This is so that we are able to meet the demands of our major.
Just sayin.
Although I agree with the article, a lot of kids who get everything paid for are the ones who are too busy partying to be in school. However, having to work 40 hrs a week to put yourself through school is also somewhat unacceptable. Being a student is a full time job.
I did not go to college right away. Well, I did, but half a semester, to me, does not count. I joined the Navy instead. My college came after marriage, divorce and two young kids. I only had one year of my GI Bill left and I took full advantage of that year. For three consecutive semesters (summer, spring and fall), I was a full-time student, full-time employee and a full-time single mother. It can be done, it just takes planning. Was I tired, oh yeah! Was it worth it, yes. I graduated with honors. Now, do all degrees allow for this, no, not at all. Some degrees demand more study/lab time. For the majority of majors though, it is acceptable to work up to 40 hours and go to school. It is all about what you make of it and what you really want out of it.
Thats awesome litesingr! Go you!
I just think its important for people to realize that not all majors are cut and dry with regular lecture and homework time. Some degrees require lab time and crazy hours. Some degrees require you be there on the weekends.
On the one hand, I can agree with the article and some of the comments. I graduated 3 years ago, and I remember clear as day some of these kids who partied every single day. They had no worries and did not care if they failed classes, got into any kind of trouble with the school or law, or anything really.
But, at the same time, I have to look at my own experience. My parents thought it would be a grand idea to make me pay for my schooling as I would have a personal interest in how I used it. To start, I didn't want to go to college in the first place, or at least the one I inevitably went to. I saw it as a waste of time as by the time I was 18, I knew I was a hands on learner and not a classroom learner. I had a tough time with abstract ideas, but could easily grasp physical things. Chemistry, physics, biology, etc. were my best subjects. I was a late bloomer as well and essentially let my parents and guidance counselor talk me not only into the school of their choice, but a major that I wasn't all that interested in.
So, I should have done pretty well since I was paying for it, right? Wrong. I did as little as I possible could get away with because, fundamentally, I didn't want to be there. So now I have $80,000 in student loan debt, which I will be paying until I am 40 or so, doing a job I absolutely have no interest in because...well...I couldn't get a job out of college in something I wanted. I know...a lot of people don't like their jobs, that's life. My point here is think about what you're doing when you make your kid pay for things. Sometimes, yes it is the right idea...but by the time I realized the path that was chosen for me by over-eager parents was wrong, I was already $46,000 in debt. Might as well finish it out to get that fancy piece of paper, right?
Sounds like you had no one to blame but yourself. Once you turned 18 the choice was yours.
collegegrd, don't listen to Michelle, she's just being mean for the sake of being mean.
You're story sounds a lot like my brothers (identical twin brother in fact). Our mother is a teacher, so she pushed us both hard to go to college. So, we both went to college (different schools), he wasn't interested whereas I was. I got a 4.0 gpa, went on to grad school to get my PhD in chemical engineering and now have a pretty good job.
He finished his "history" major cause it's the "fancy piece of paper" on the other end you describe and bounced around from various job to job, unemployed temporarily, etc. But eventually he found something he liked. He's now a pit boss at a casino after moving up from card dealer, he's great with #'s, we ARE identical twins. And now he's doing great!! In fact, he makes more money than I do (as I'm still a lowly postdoc).
We graduated 10 years ago btw, so it may take some time, but keep plugging away and paying off those college loans (if you can). You'll get there...
collegegrd, you paying for your education has nothing at all to do with them railroading you into a major you didn't want. while i can sympathize with your position, they should have given you some space to decide what you wanted and whether college was the right path for you, and if so what major to pursue.
Lastly, lots of people have jobs in college and graduate without 80K in debt, perhaps this could have been handled better by both you and your parents. Sorry for your cirumstances...
Kind of feel your pain here. Some of my family didn't speak to me for months after I changed my major to what I was happy doing as opposed to what THEY were happy with me doing. I paid for my entire education with scholarships and working a full time job while I went to school.
Now I've got a Masters and several of my friends who never set foot on a college campus after high school are making four times what I do. And my family loves to use that as an "I told you so" moment but hey....I'm doing what I enjoy.
My own parents pushed me into college. I had zero interest in a degree and has a teen I absolutely hated high school. As a result I dropped out instead of racking up a bunch of debt on something that I probably wasn't going to use anyway.
My parents wanted me to go to college. I paid for it myself. I tried for two years. And I just didn't want it. There was no major that caught my interest. I wanted to travel and see things.
So I went back to the sport I loved. Became a professional figure skater. :) Travelled all over the place, made a lot of friends, learned how to speak Russian and took tons of photos. And I'm very happy. No loans.
Think outside the box. Not all careers require college. And college isn't for everyone.
Unfortunately, as a culture we are "teaching" our young people that a four-year traditional college is the ONLY way they will be successful in life. Frankly, that's not true. I have a degree and am a "professional" in my field, yet I can guarantee that my plumber makes a WHOLE lot more money than I do. Fortunately, I like what I do, so that makes things good with me.
In your case, since YOU were paying for the education, it should have been YOUR decision on what to study and where to attend school. I'm sorry you got yourself into this fix, but it's never too late in life to change direction!
(BTW: Please don't read into this that post secondary education isn't needed, it certainly is, but there are MANY options.)
Like I said earlier, you were 18 years old. You had choices and one was to get out and make your own decisions. A menial job and a trade school would have been a great road to take you just needed to find another living arrangement to make that happen.
The world still needs mechanics, electricians, plumbers, ditch diggers etc.......In some areas they are desperate to fill these positions so the college degree isn't nessesary. Just don't expect to get paid well to start.
In the end your parents should be ashamed and embarassed for not preparing you to be an adult and treating you like a child during your late teens. If they thought you were an adult they would have asked for your input and not made demands instead.
Same here. I graduated high school a year early and knew I wanted to be a performer. I've always loved dancing and acting and knew early on that's all I wanted to do. But, my family convinced me to go to college for something "real". My mom also refused to pay application fees for schools I wanted to go to and since I had no job or allowance I couldn't pay them myself. I had no idea what else I would want for a career, I really didn't want a fall-back or Plan B. I ended up wasting 4 years at community college struggling to figure out what I was interested in. I spent my last two years focusing on theater and dance, and then dropped out to work instead. I have $10,000 in student loans and nothing to show or it.
Thankfully, I'm able to use some of my husband's VA benefits so that I can go back to school. I'm pursuing a degree in dance so that I will be able to open my own dance studio. I'm also pursuing acting on the side. I'm just sad it took an extra 10 years for me to get on the right path. I wish my family had supported me.
My husband had similar experiences. We have decided to encourage our children in their decisions and help them achieve their dreams. So long as they are pursuing a career that will allow them to be successful and happy, we will support them.
I'll tell you one thing, I've paid every cent for my education so far. My mother on the other hand has tens of thousands in student loans, no job, and no retirement savings. I expect she will be looking for me to take care of her in 20 years. No going to happen.
Between your post to "collegegrd" in #5.1, and the story you relayed right here, I suppose it's fair to say that you're just about the cheeriest, nicest person in the world...
Wow. Hold a grudge much?
I guess you were never taught humility and general respect were you?
Michelle, you're walking down a path that gets real bumpy the older you get.
We've been telling our kids from the time they were in 5th grade (in an age-appropriate way) that if they went to college, they'd be paying at 50% of the cost. Also told them that if they decided not to go to college, they were expected to have a full time job after graduation from high school, with a plan for finding an apartment (which we would help set up). Now that they're in high school, they're scrutinizing their options very carefully, keeping an eye on what professions look promising (at least today) for income, growth, security. Start young.
My parents couldn't pay for my education, and today I'm very grateful for it. When scholarship money becomes necessary for survival, there's a whole new level of motivation involved. Once I made it to top of my class my Junior year, I was making 30k a year in scholarships, and my public school only cost ~8k/yr at the time.
Ended up graduating with a B.S. in mechanical engineering, a job secured 2 semesters before graduation, $12k stashed in the bank, and very few loans.
The people I knew who had dropped out of engineering school and stumbled their way through a marketing degree on mom and dad's dime sure had a lot more fun, don't have any loans either, but are still looking for work.
Not every engineering student ends up so lucky though. Because I had to work to live, I couldn't focus as much on my studying, therefore my grades lost out. I didn't qualify for scholarships. There really weren't any available unless you were an incoming freshman or a minority (even though I'm a woman that apparently didn't count in the field of engineering).
I paid for my tuition with student loans I'm still paying back today. Everything else - books, food, car (I commuted to school), car insurance, 'fun' money - I paid for out of my pocket. And now I'm stuck paying back over $57k for the next 20yrs (for a career field that I intensely dislike, but that's another story).
Let's just simply say that if I had a chance to do it over again, things would have been done differently.
That's the big issue. If it were today your 30k in scholarships (which is very rare by the way) would still not be enough to cover much more than just tuition. You would have to work or take out loans to go to school today.
Ky - It didn't start out that way, my high school grades were terrible. I worked my way up to those scholarships at a community college while working the graveyard shift at a hotel. I don't see why you would put yourself through an engineering degree if you intensely dislike it. To me the field is fantastic. I set my own schedule, get to see the world, and have the satisfaction of seeing my ideas literally become reality.
Eng - I graduated in 2009, my wife is still in school. Her tuition is maybe 9-10k a year. PUBLIC school is the key word. I don't count living expenses because you'd be paying those anyway...
The scholarship was the SMART scholarship. There are several like it for US citizens in the STEM fields, and there aren't many of us so it really isn't THAT rare.
KYengineer- that's very odd that you didn't get a minority scholarship in engineering as a female. This may vary state to state, but we had a large push when I was in school (Around my sophomore year) to get more women into math and science fields. A part of that was increasing the scholarship amount for women in those majors. It didn't create a new scholarship, just gave you significantly more if you were getting that scholarship already.
Similar to Remy, I'm glad I paid for most of my own schooling, though I'm thankful for the help I did get. I would have loved to go to a private school for a degree that may have more prestige, but I kept it in-sate ($6k/semester), lived in the dorms, and tried to work. Unfortunately, even after all the money saving and scholarships, I still finished with $20K of student debt.
There are ways to lessen the burden, but getting out of school without any loans is getting more and more rare. Then again, knowing I had these loans forced me to be more proactive about my grades and finding a job.
Unfortunately Layla, most of those scholarships at my state school were given to the minorities and minority women (I'm a white girl). My high school grades were excellent (I was the salutatorian of my class), and had a pretty decent ACT score, but I guess I wasn't considered 'needy' enough - even though my parents didn't make that much. Its all water under the bridge now, even though it has left a bit of a bad taste in my mouth over the years. I wish I had qualified for scholarships and grants, but that just didn't happen for me.
Remy, the reason why I dislike it is because I really should never have gone into engineering in the first place. While I thoroughly enjoy learning about new technologies, I realize I don't want the stress and the pressure that it brings. And I realize that my skills just aren't what they need to be to excel in engineering, and I just don't find it very fulfilling. I went into the field because I was good at math and science, and because everyone said to me "you're a girl, you can't do engineering", so I think I did it primarily to prove them wrong and because I was lured by the higher paying salaries.
I'm good at the math and data side of things, so I'm taking those transferable skills to develop a diff type of career..and I'm also considering going back for another master's to do something different.
So yeah, I'd love to have a do-over knowing what I know now.
Yeah for the engineers! Actually having a decent conversation on the internet boards.
Shocking news!! Kids who are given everything and not expected to earn their way through life are less responsible?? Who would have thought such a thing ... I always assumed that kids learned responsibility through osmosis.
Tell that to the Democrats!!!!!!
duh.
I think it depends on the child. My parent's paid for my tuition/room/meal plan and I graduated with a 3.6 in a tough major (computer science). Granted I paid for my recreation (some parents actually pay for their kids recreation??) so maybe I don't count...but I had always been a responsible/focused kid and my parent's weren't worried about me wasting their money and my time.
Some kids understand the value of a good education and a good job, some don't...the one's who don't might need the added motivation of paying for their education themselves but that doesn't mean all of us are irresponsible until our own money is on the line.
You're one in a few, however you should be proud of yourself. Congrats!
I can relate. I lived at home initially, had a scholarship that paid most of my tuition, made excellent grades, and worked for my recreation money, so my parents were actually very eager to supply me with a decent car, insurance, unlimited gasoline, and money for books! When I graduated, neither myself nor my parents had any debt from me going to college!
We mixed it up. We paid for a 529 that included 120 credit hours. If our kids couldn't graduate with that (and the pile of AP credits they got in high school) they would be on their own to make up the shortage. Both are RA's, which pays for their room and board, and both get cash academic scholarships, so they have to keep their GPA's' over 3.0. After fees, the college sends them a check that they put into savings.
They pay for everything they need so they know the cost of college directly, and we cover some expenses that fall outside room, board, fees and tuition, such as books. But they're frugal and learned quickly how to rent books, or buy and sell used books.
They'll graduate in a year with no loans, good job recommendations, high GPAs and cash in the bank. They didn't party (a lot) because they spent enough time holding the hair of their resident's so it didn't fall in the toilet. We always taught them it's best to learn from other people's mistakes. They did.
Plus, they can feel the pride of having largely put themselves through college.
Great article! Kids should pay at least half or most of their tuition, and the parents can help them purchase a car for traveling and pay for other necessities. I think if more parents would've put some of the financial responsibility on their children, they would've been more motivated and not waste time!
Hamster1 - maybe they should have paid for a few more english classes; no apostrophes required in parents or ones
You ain't right,LOL!
Oo a grammar nazi. I'm sorry that I don't always read over what I type and fix mistakes. Why don't you actually add to the conversation instead of nitpicking on typing mistakes?
Oh, by the way, you missed a period. ;)
Partying? What's that? My schedule everyday was classes from 8 to 12, worked part-time job 12 to 3, football practice 3 to 6, dinner 6 to 7, homework 7 to 11, go to bed and start all over. We didn't have time to party or do political protesting.
I would have to agree with the article. I blew my free ride for college. My second semester at Maryland, I passed my advanced open water dive class and that was it. The only thing I was studying was a bar maid named Becky. My parents stopped paying for my school. After about 30k in student loans and 3 yrs of hard work I received my BA. Funny how when I was paying for my schooling I graduated with a 3.6 GPA.
We pay our son's tuition but he's responsible for books and supplies. So far that seems to have worked out okay. He works at the school bookstore, they're flexible about working around his class schedule each quarter, and he's VERY aware of what his books are going to cost. It's still expensive, but he has a portion of the cost he can afford and so do we. He drives a 1995 Honda that his grandma willed him about 10 years ago. Starting out poor has, I think, made him a better young man. Builds character, as my dad says. Our daughter tried twice, failed both times (luckily only 1 quarter at a time), left school and got a job, and now, years later, is going back on her own dime, one class at a time. She just wasn't ready, I guess. Everyone has their own path.
I completely agree with kids funding as much of their own education as possible. I came from a poor family, who were supportive (morally) of my sister and I going to college, but were not able to pay for almost anything. I had some help from Federal financial aid, and some small amounts (very small) in scholarships, but the majority I paid for with my own employment dollars, and student loans. My B.S. degree took me 7 years to finish, but I had earned it. I paid my own way through my M.S. and my Ph.D., as well. I've also almost paid off those student loans, too....just a couple grand to go. Hard work is it's own reward, and earning something of value through your own sweat is much more valuable. Now, I'm an administrator and faculty member at a large public university, and I see this phenomenon in the students here. Those who have it paid for take it for granted; those that contribute to their own education costs value the education much more.
Do students ride bicycles to class anymore? I rode a bike for three years until I saved enough money to buy my first car.
Sorry, bike car...there is not a difference. A college education today saddles a graduate with the equivilent of a home loan without the home. That our society makes bankers rich to educate our youth is disgusting!
My parents helped me out through my undergraduate degree, but I had to pay for my own gas and "fun money." Then near the end of my undergrad I got plenty of scholarships that I could save a lot of it to help fund my masters degree, plus I did some work at the university to also fund my masters degree. So I've payed over $10,000 of my own money toward my education, which is close to the same contributions my parents paid in the beginning. You definitely realize how much college costs when you have to pay several thousand dollars a semester, as well as buying books and other necessities. This is a state university too. Neither myself, nor my parents, would have been able to afford to send me to a private university. The upside is, I have no student debt. So I walk away with my Masters in Electrical Engineering owing absolutely nothing. I don't even have credit card debt. Seems being frugal all these years may have been worth it. And I also already have a job once I finish my degree and it pays very well for an entry level position.
Can teens really earn enough money to put themselves through college? I can't even save enough for my son on my own... let alone how much he'll need 10 years from now when he enters college.
If I don't help, is he just being set up for long-term debt and a delay in achieving financial independence because of student loans? Will he be living at home at 30 because he can't afford to move out?
It does not have to be that way. There is no shame in starting at the local community college for the first two years then transfering the credits and get the last two years at a university/college. If you teach your child the value of hard work, encourage him to get a job, save the money and make sure your child knows the difference between "want" and "need", he won't be swimming in debt and he'll be on his own in no time.
I don't think realistically kids can pay for college today with tuitions being over $50,000 per year. I help my son out with everything including "fun" money (just made another deposit today). Between playing football and studying, he really doesn't have that much down time.
I think some of these commentors are just plain mean and/or cheap. It's your child, you can't help them out. Jeesh.
Not all majors work that way, mine didn't. Sure I could have done two years at a community college, but to get all of my major classes would have taken 3 years because of how often they were offered. Not much savings there. So I just did all 4 years at the University (actually got done in 3.5)
My parents couldn't afford to pay for my school and to be honest, I didn't want them to. Going to college was always a personal goal and I was taught the importance of working hard to achieve my own dreams. If my parents had contributed, I don't think I would have appreciated the experience to the extent that I have. I know this because I watched my sister expect my parents to pay for part of hers, they did, and she took it for granted and created all sorts of grief for them.
I took out loans and got a few grants (early on) and throughout most of my undergraduate education I had a part time job on the weekends to pay for my personal expenses. It taught me how to balance my responsibilities and pay my bills on time or early and that is an important lesson that I will pass on to my own children someday. Internships and fellowships followed toward the end of undergrad and into graduate school and now I am now working on my PhD in my free time, while working full-time. It is hard work, but I want to be a professor for my second career and I have to lay the groundwork for that.
While I understand that parents don't want their children to come out of school with debt and they want them to have a good worry-free college experience. The thing is...it actually takes effort, work on the part of the child to decide what to do with their life and to figure out how to do it, that is part of becoming a functioning adult. Also, while it might be great to go to an ivy-league or 'fill in the blank here university', if you cannot afford it, a state school that has tuition at a fraction of the cost is perfectly acceptable and nothing to grimace about. All of the schools I have attended have been state universities and it worked out pretty great for me career-wise and my student loan debt is the equivalent to a middle of the road sedan. Not terrible by any means, especially with all this talk about massive student loan debts.
Parents need to teach their children how to plan, how to budget, how to earn and use their money wisely, and how to balance all of that with having fun too...i.e. football/basketball games and etc. It is doable, but it isn't perfect either. It takes work.
I pay for half of my college my self. Costs rise every other semester. My mom (she was the parent that helped pay the other half)had financial issues due to opening up a business and could not help me for about 6 months. Currently I am dropped out of school (even with grants) Because Gas, Food, Rent,Etc. I work a full time job and i have a room mate and i can barely make it. Furthermore I flat out can not afford to pay for school. So not helping your child can be the difference of them Attending college. I strongly disagree that you should not help your child.
Way back in the way back, I paid for my own college. Of course, it didn't cost as much as a McMansion-before-the-bust back then. I hope I'll be able to afford to contribute to my kids' higher education costs, but here's the truth...college is too darned expensive these days.
I'm not sending my kid to college where he will rack up a hundred thousand dollars worth of loans only to get a job that pays $40,000 a year. We shouldn't expect our children to be saddled with this type of debt before they even buy their own home. I'm going to have to help, and even then, I'm not sure the investment will be worth it.
I paid for most of my own college with the help of small scholarships that pretty much covered my tuition. I have no problem with kids working their way through college. What I have a problem with is that working your way through college is no longer an option because college is too darned expensive. This bubble better burst and soon.
I agree. I still have outstanding loans, and I won't push my kids to go to college just to get a piece of paper that everyone else has. I'll still encourage a plan for their career, but trade school, community college, apprenticeship, etc., would make me just as proud as a 4-year degree.
WHY NOT HAVE PEOPLE PAY FOR THEIR OWN COLLEGE EDUCATION! If they are spending their own money, I am sure that the college cost will decrease quickly. Also, they will then make informed decision, on what degree or profession, they will go after. They will also demand that colleges offer competitive cost for similar courses. This will also cause a BOOM, in online classes and then we can begin to tare down some of these college facilities or let them become low-rent housing for the public. Why should not college compete for students hard earn money? College have truly lost their way, in today world of low cost solutions and global competition.
Well said.
There are too many colleges competing for dollars out there. America has become a giant diploma mill. The root problem is that colleges are struggling to adapt to a increasingly streamlined and picky job market while still offering the same dead end degrees they always have.
And having online classes does not automatically guarantee that the quality of the education will go up. For example, at my school, there were a certain number of students that needed to be signed up for a class to warrant a physical professor to be there. Otherwise, they would shift you to an online online setting. Towards the end, the attrition rate was so terrible that most of my necessary "hands on" classes were being shifted to an online setting. The kicker was that the online classes were not any better and were still the same cost as the same class being held in a lab setting like it should have been. None of it makes any sense.
Kids should be shown that higher education is a big choice that has real ramifications. They should never be pushed into something that they haven't fully researched.