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AARP
Grandparents are splurging on gifts for their grandkids, but many also are helping out with necessities.
Everyone expects grandparents to splurge on gifts for their grandkids, but a new study finds that in many cases the older generation is also spending money to help their progeny with basic needs.
About half of all grandparents said they are helping out with their grandchildren’s education expenses, while 37 percent are helping out with everyday living expenses and 23 percent with medical or dental expenses, according to a survey released Wednesday by AARP.
The results were relatively similar to a 2002 survey on the same topic by AARP, which advocates for older Americans.
Forty percent of the grandparents surveyed had spent $500 or more on their grandkids in the past 12 months, although 44 percent said the economy had affected how much they spend on their grandkids. Many had cut back on gifts, while some said they had had cut back on buying necessities for their grandchildren.
Some grandparents are playing an even more substantial role in helping out Mom and Dad.
About 1 in 10 survey respondents said they have grandchildren living with them, and four in 10 of those said they are the primary caregiver for their grandkids.
Even if Grandma or Grandpa are not the primary caregivers, the survey found that 16 percent are providing some child care while Mom and Dad are at work or school. About half said they just wanted to spend more time with their grandkids, while two in 10 said it was because the parents couldn’t afford alternative child care.
The survey of about 1,900 grandparents age 50 and over was conducted last summer and fall.
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Grandparents who are supporting their grandchildren (for example, if their adult child is unemployed and has moved back in with them) may be eligible to count the grandkid(s) AND the adult son/daughter as dependents for tax purposes. This is especially important to investigate if your adult child or grandchild has run out of unemployment benefits and you are pretty much their sole financial supporter.
Read about the specifics online and either consult a tax advisor or submit the correct forms with your tax return.
Money is tight. Our life style is on the decline. But why? Let me explain. For decades, entire nation borrowed, inflated the money supply and the prices with borrowed money, and then promised to pay back with interest. This brought us to a situation where entire money supply is less than the principal + interest that we collectively owe. Then after sub-prime we ran out of borrowers and deflation started. Bernanke is printing to keep it in order. But that money takes down to trickle down to ordinary people. When interest rates go up, the debt burden will become even more apparent and as fueld, food prices rise, people will find they don't have enough money. This will cause another recession, or depression perhaps if Uncle Sam cannot borrow huge amounts at low interest next round. In this environment best you can do is to stay out of excessive debt and live within your means. There is simply not enough money in existence for everybody. This is why people cannot find a job that can pay old salaries. Google for "DEFLATIONARY CRASH" to understand the debt problem.
What's interesting:
Once that generation's assets are gone - most likely to nursing homes - the next generation coming up won't have those kinds of assets.
What then, future?
Assets will only change hands to nursing homes. Then they can spend within the economy and we shall be fine. Real problem is trade deficit. As we go into debt to China and other nations for what we use daily, we are digging our hole deeper. When Chinese currency rises and there is noone left in America who knows how to produce the simplest gadget we will become a third world country.
While my husband and I can cover expenses for our daughter, my parents help by giving her money on special occasions. We then use this money for dance classes. My daughter picks her classes and learns that her money only goes so far. This helps her learn financial responsibilty. She decided that she can "afford" both dance next fall and t-ball this summer, but not hip-hop classes. She feels better when she can help make the decisions about her money. Although I still have to explain that the money in the piggy bank can't pay for a trip to Disney!!!
Sorry, but I don't approve of this. If you have children, both are working then you pay for everything. If you don't have enough money, child does without. Guess I am of the addage,
I made my money, now you work for yours. Or even better, do not have children. I have never been on a budget and do not intend to begin just because my grandchildren cannot afford dance classes. They are not mine...they are yours. I have paid my dues and now it's time for me to enjoy life to the fullest.
@Dick
Or is this your attitude? Both my parents are alive and fairly wealthy (having made their fortune and having opportunities at a time when none of the rest of us will) and they do spent a dime on any of their grandchildren. In fact, they go out of their way to flaunt it in their faces. Guess what? I do not allow my children to have any contact with them...at all. I do not want them to have the same cheap, stingy, selfish attitude they have (and apparently you have too). The joy of having money (especially when you have more than what you need) is to share it and watch the happiness it brings others. Money will never love you back....remember that when you are drawing your last breath.
Wow, What part for special occasions did you not comprehend? I read that to mean, birthdays, Holidays, etc. Glad I wasn't raised by parents, grandparents such as yourself.
Guy 118, I do the same thing with my son. My parents give him money for his birthday, holidays, sometimes if his report card is excellent, etc. When he wasn't making money fast enough to be able to play the third sport he wanted to play, he started raking leaves to earn that extra money.
Grandparents and parents eventually die and then the children and grandchildren are left. if you do not instill good financial and moral advice to your children and grandchildren you have failed them. You can help out financially on special occasions but that should be all. Many of my friends are raising their grandchildren and not doing them any favors. Many of the grandchildren are 18-21 years old and do not work, etc., while the grandparents are paying for everything. I ask them what will happen to little Tony or little Betty when you are gone???? They are doing them a disservice by not expecting them to grow up, make a living and fend for themselves.
I have mixed feelings. Both my husband and I had great work ethics instilled into us, though in different ways. My husband HAD to work for his car, cell, etc. I was taught how to work hard but because I came from a wealthy family I was given anything my heart wanted. However, my husband and I found ourselves with a surprise baby and shortly after finding out I lost my job. We could have made it with my job, but we couldnt with me unemployed. Since I was already 3 months along I figured about 2 months to find a new job...however, by then I was already half way through my pregnancy so no one wanted to touch me. It wasnt until my son was 4 months that I found a job. For the first 4 months my in-laws paid for ALL of the things my son needed. after that we had assistance with daycare from 4-7 months so we could bring out credit card bills down. as a result we didnt get drowned in debt and we were able to bring ourselves out of debt quickly. We now pay for everything for my 3yr old and as a result we can now "afford" to have our second child who is due in August and be able to do everything on our own AND get ready to buy a home before the end of the year. If it were not for the help of my inlaws we never would be where we are today
I truly believe that this generation of grandparents are totally different than previous generations. We are living longer and this is the first generation where most women worked outside of the home. Hence, better off economically. I have four grandsons and I love taking them to MLB games, to the beach, or just hanging out. The baseball games and beach are expensive propositions, but the memories being created for both them and me are worth every dime. Both my siblings and good friends feel the same way. What joy!
Have no problem with helping and sharing. However what have I seen a lot of is my co-workers are working longer to support their children's lavish lifestyles. My neighbor has given money repeatedly to her daughter and son-in-law who both drive new cars and live in a house far out of their income range. Their children play on several select sports teams and none of them want to wait for what took their parents several years work to attain.
Sad but true - a blue collar factory worker 30 years ago could support a wife and kids on one income. Hard pressed to find any single job that can do that now. I have a masters degree and work in financial services to support my family on one income. Fortunate I can do that, but it has been very tight for years. The dollar just doesn't go as far as it used to.
I am a single grandmother and I am raising my 3 grandsons, and work full time. I wish i could retire, however there won't be enough money to do that right now. I don't receive childsupport but i have the joy of seeing my boys everyday.... what more can a grandmother ask for. One does what has to be done for the children. Especially when the parents are unable to step up to the plate and take care of them.
Sounds like a case of poor parenting on the first generation. Hope for more success on the next one.
mtgrandma -- I am doing the same, but for "only" 2 boys. Can't imagine having a 3rd one to add to the chaos. I do it because I love them. They needed me and I don't care if others understand why. Good for you for stepping up to the plate.
I agree with mtgrandma and granny, I am raising 2 grandchildren. Both parents are absent and do not pay any child support. I was working when I became their guardian 6 yrs. ago. Not long after I lost my job. It has been very hard to support them on a fixed income but it can be done. We don't have a lot but they are involved in sports and they don't do without needed necessities. It is a daily struggle but the reward is worth it.
The free generation brought on the entitled generation and now have the entitled spawn to do it again. What part of FAIL doesn't the grandparent generation get?
WHAT?
QUIT HAVING KIDS YOU CANNOT AFFORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good luck with that.
Then who'll clean the pools and mow the lawns of the rich people?
Oh....heck....I forgot! That's what illegal immigrants are for, because they'll work cheaper than someone who already can't afford kids!! Sorry.
I spoil my grandkids rotten...I also have stuffed 529's for them and when they start having income I'll probably offer to match their savings for awhile...we earned and saved enough so we have options...it sucks to be poor, I've been there too...
Our children's and our grand children's needs are our primary concern as parents and grandparents. We are fortunate to have the means to contribute to our grandchildren's education. My parents did the same for our son's secondary education so that he could attend a well-qualified Jesuit prep school which more than prepared him for his college education.
I think these "surveys/polls" are stupid and misleading. First of all, they surveyed 1900 granparents. There are over 350 million people in the U.S. and whatever the percentage make up grandparents, it is certainly not going to give a good view of the overall numbers of ANYTHING to survey 1900 people. It would be more accurate but less interesting to state that of 1900 grandparents surveyed, x% did this or that. We ALL know that grandparents help out and have done exactly that for generations. It is the way things work in this country and most others in the world. How exactly is this news?
Too many people having babies they can't afford to finacially or emotionally take care of. If you're struggling to take care of one, don't go on to have two, three, four or more!
Thanks to welfare, this will never happen.
As a Dad and Grandpa, I worked all my life so I could provide for my wife, my children and grandchildren. I even had to help my own parents. I have been so blessed to be able to do this with only a High School education.
I don't want my children to have to wait now until I die for them to reap some benefit from my life's work. I gladly and willingly help them in any way I can making sure that they still are required to do their part and put the effort into their work, marriages and children. If this is what we need to do as families in the current rat-race world, so be it.
In general, we are living longer. God willing, I want to make the most of that time to continue to provide for my family where I can. It has a side benefit of making me feel still needed, too :-)
My parents helped us when times were tough and money was tight. Now we are set better financially, and no longer need their help. Our son is now married, no children yet but going to college. Money is tight for them. We are working on purchasing a second hand car so they can each have a job, and not worry about conflicting schedules. We also help with occasional "cash" gifts, on birthdays and holidays. Gift cards for food, and items we know they will need, like clothing when we find a good deal. Where I work I see grandparents coming in all the time to purchase shoes and socks for their grandkids....because the parents can't afford to right now. That is just how good family works.
This is what happens when the "Everybody Gets A Trophy" generation has kids! Get used to it, because it's going to get a LOT worse.
This is pathetic. Grandparents shouldn't be handing over money to help their kids buy things for the grandkids. If they can't afford to buy the children things, they shouldn't have them. What's wrong with parents today? Always wanting handouts in the form of cash from the parents or welfare. And free babysitting by the grandparents, too. It's time for these parents to grow up. I'm seeing more and more, the husbands of women getting pushed aside because the women's parents give her everything - no need for the husband now. These marriages always end in divorce, where if the parents wouldn't interfere, their kids marriages might actually have a chance.
Wife left you eh? Your bitterness is showing
I've heard that the nurses in the OB wards tell the mothers not to list the fathers on the birth certificates. The mothers start off not holding the fathers emotionally or financially responsible for their children. What a way to start off life? Instead of having the father of their babies step up to the plate from day one, these mothers claim they don't know who the fathers are and claim welfare and Medicaid right off the bat. Then the baby's father moves in (if he isn't already living with the mother). With no legal ties to the baby, he's bound to abandon that little baby early in life just because the mother was a cheater. Looking at it like this, the grandparents are called upon to step in.
What I want to know is, why is this being allowed to continue? What right have nurses got to advises pregnant women to cheat the system and shape the course of children's lives? Counselors from the State should be advising women of the need to hold the babies' fathers responsible. This might be the right forum to expose this issue, but the issue exists, never the less.
Additionally, my own mother is completely emptying her bank account buying gifts and handouts for my sibling, her spouse and 4 kids. I get nothing because I'm unmarried with no kids. How is that fair?
I have 5 grandchildren (15-1) and I love them all. The five year old is with me much of the time. My son is a single dad who works full-time on third shift, so I keep this grandson over-night and through the daytime so my son can get some sleep. He comes and takes him home around 4:00PM for the evening and brings him back at 10:00 PM.
I charge $5.00 per day because I believe it is my son's responsibility to pay SOMETHING for the care of his child, and he knows that anyone else would charge WAY more to care for one child for two shifts five to seven days a week. I buy most of all of the kids' clothes (albeit second hand stores) because I like to shop for them and realize that perfectly fine clothes can be had without investing a fortune. (The brand new CROCS I bought for the 5 year old were $2 at Goodwill and $30 at Kohls' recently!)
This summer we will be taking the oldest 3 kids on a four day vacation to a state park in another state. We will, also, go to an amusement/water park on the way back. It will cost a little money, but taking the kids for 4 days will be a blast and won't cost much more than just the two of us going for a week. This might be our last chance for the 15 year old as she will probably have a summer job next year, or won't want to hang out with her old granny anymore! When I am dead I would hope those grandchildren will remember all of the good times we had together.
That being said, it is a shame when children have to do without necessities (medical and dental care) because the parent can't afford to provide them. Any grandparent who can afford to pitch in for those things, if needed, and would refuse to do so is just selfish!
I have 6 grandchildren from 2 to 9 year olds. I tried to made time to be around all . I did not charge their parents for anything except loves. I bought them everything they need clothing, and school supplies.Their parents work very hard, I wished to have more time to help all of them. Loving children and helping them is nothing wrong with it.
I am very lucky to have all of them, and very happy with them all!