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Kim Carney/msnbc.com
Kiss your Valentine all you want - but wait until after work, experts say.
Everyone has a story about an uncomfortable workplace encounter on Valentine’s Day.
Whether it’s the co-worker who was showered with flowers and teddy bears all day long or the one who was noticeably snubbed, the mixture of work and romance often boils down to one word: Awkward.
“Valentine’s Day, as with most holidays, brings on a lot of stress for people, not only inside of work but outside of work,” said Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert and author of “Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant.”
That’s one reason she’s not much of a fan of big Valentine’s Day bouquets being sent to the office or other romantic gestures during the workday.
“This is the workplace, and Cupid doesn’t belong on the org chart,” she said.
To avoid making your romantic partner the target of office gossip and speculation, Taylor recommends giving him or her that bouquet at the end of the day, rather than sending it to the office.
And if you’re going on a special Valentine’s Day date after work, she suggests meeting in the office parking lot rather than at your office, so you don’t have any risk of uncomfortable public displays of affection in front of the boss.
Others say Valentine's Day gifts at work are OK - in moderation.
Diane Gottsman, a national etiquette expert and owner of the Protocol School of Texas, said a modest bouquet of flowers sent to the office is fine. But an over-the-top gesture such as a huge bouquet or multiple deliveries is out of line for the workday. That’s because it can draw too much attention to your personal life.
In a recent survey of its users, employer ratings site Glassdoor.com found that about one-quarter of respondents said they would want to receive flowers at work from their significant other. The next popular Valentine’s Day item to get at work was chocolate.
Only 1 percent said they wanted to get a singing telegram at work on Valentine’s day.
Gottsman also isn’t a fan of singing telegrams. She adds: “No strippers.”
Valentine’s Day also can be especially awkward if you are dating one of your co-workers. A survey released last week by CareerBuilder.com found that nearly four in 10 workers have dated a co-worker, and one-third of those office romances led to marriage.
If you’re involved with a co-worker, Gottsman said it’s especially important to make sure you separate your workplace duties from your romantic life. That may even mean having a conversation beforehand asking your significant other not to make a big deal of the holiday at work.
“If you want to maintain this mystique - this professional persona - and you don’t want people involved in your life, you have to let your partner know that,” she said.
Have you experienced office awkwardness on Valentine’s Day? Tell us your story in the comments below, or continue the discussion on our Facebook page.
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I guess it's all in a person's point of view. There are always men and women who make a big deal about it. But in reality, it's a way that one company is making money on the cards, and spinoff companies make money off the candy, flowers, ect. Actually it's just another day at the office.
It's very sweet of a man to send a woman a Valentine's Day present at work,and to the guys who do that we love you for it.If you sent us flowers at work, we're not complaining!But it might be better for both her and him if he sends it to her home next time.After all, a woman who receives a nice present at the office has to answer a lot of intrusive questions about her relationship with the guy(or gal) to the office gossips.Who wants to have to run the status of their relationship with their sweetie past a pack of vicious coworkers so the coworkers can make cruel comments about someone she loves and a relationship that brings her joy? I avoid talking about ANY part of my personal life in the workplace.
Ever notice how at any given workplace on Valentine's Day there are always one or two women who are not in particularly good relationships, however on Valentine's Day they suddenly get a very nice bouquet-delivered at the office, of course.LOL!!Everybody knows that they either sent it to themselves or demanded that their partner send it and cued him through every detail to make sure that he did.
Ditto, someone who gets a HUGE, ostentatious Valentine's Day present at the office-the kind designed to make sure everyone in the place notices it.Maybe it's legit and she's lucky enough to have a nice guy trying to get her attention, however in most cases she had just as well have a neon sign flashing on her forehead reading,"My relationship is NOT GOING WELL."Most people know that people in happy relationships don't spend a lot of energy trying to convince outsiders that they have a happy relationship.People in relationships that are having a lot of problems are the ones who repeat over and over:"I'm happy. I've got a good thing.He treats me well."When people really do have a good thing, they don't waste time trying to get someone else to say that they have a good thing.
A small bouquet at the office is nice, but for the sake of those who never get a something at work, it's better to keep those gestures outside the workplace.
Look..... I know I am in the minority (as a guy) but ENOUGH ALREADY with the gift giving! My special someone and I decided a long time ago that there are three gift giving days a year............ Anniversary, Birthday, and Christmas. It's as simple as ABC! We went to dinner Saturday night and she got a card this morning with a personal note, that's it. Thank God I am with someone who doesn't expect me to spend another small fortune 45 days after Christmas. It's really nuts!
People need to chill out with the over-commercialization of fake "holidays". Valentines, Easter, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Grandparent's Day, Secretary Day, Boss's Day.............................. it's RIDICULOUS! No wonder people are broke.
I remember when Valentine's Day was just another fake holiday that only couples, particularly in their 20's, celebrated. Now its become this big celebration. Why is this even an issue for the workplace? Unless you have an intimate close relationship with a coworker, keep the Valentines wishes to people you know outside of work.
I think having flowers delivered to your workplace is a romantic gesture. However, I don't think it should just be between a couple (man/woman, etc). Friends should be able to give/get flowers as well. Considering all the divorces we encounter in this world, I don't think we see enough romance and show enough appreciation towards the ones we love. There is absolutely nothing wrong with receiving flowers. I think it allows co-workers to see how much you're loved by your other half. Have them realize that being loved by another individual is a gift.
I, with permission of my wife, come in early and leave ONE rose on each of the ladies in my workplace. I do it every year and every year it is appreciated. I give my wife a lot more but always at home never in front of others. We don't work together but she gets easily embarrassed. I do this because I was raised to always make sure the "womenfolk" were given something on Valentines Day. To some its the only gift they get all day. I just want to bring happiness to them and from their comments to me it does.
You sir, are to be commended for what you do for your wife's co-workers. My compliments.
I could care less how much materialistic stuff my co-workers get from their significant others. What bothers me is when a low esteem chick has to make a huge production of the fact when we all know their marriage is headed for the trash heap cause she's brought all the negativity to work for so long. His little one day obligation to send her flowers just makes me thankful that I am loved and spoiled AFTER work with my favorite meal cooked by my sweetie. I asked him to NOT send anything to my work place. I really don't need to draw any attention to myself nor do I care if my co-workers have any viewpoints about my relationship. All that matters is what I know.
And I personally think that on this day, people should remember to love themselves and send themselves something wonderful and sweet just to remind themselves that loving yourself first is the greatest love of all.
damn, you sound like a nasty old turd. Wouldn't be surprised if you were at the bottom of that trash heap
In my experience, getting gifts at work can create tension. Others may see it as showing off or feel jealous, and I've seen relations between co-workers sometimes go a bit sour. Well, the situation CAN differ depending on the workplace... I guess in some offices, where people are closer, more like a family... But I still agree with Lynn Taylor.
I work with people who actually pay to have huge floral bouquets, cards and gifts hand delivered to their desks on Valentine's Day just to give the impression that they have a romantic sweetheart who adores them. The whole arrangement is then prominently displayed for days on end for maximum gossip effect. It is quite pathetic to see.